M

M is for May day.  May Day, always remind me of Our Blessed Virgin Mary.  A Saint I pray to a LOT.  Especially when we were having issues becoming parents. She and Joseph, and a handful of others, were my Go To prayer Saints.  You know us Catholics, we LOVE our Saints.

Which brings me to my topic. Not having much to even do with the Letter M (thanks May Day).  But, this rant has been festering in my soul for a week now. I have had some deep soul searching, and all I can come up with is, this post may be the proverbial nail in my coffin that sends me to an after life of eternal damnation. Wow, sounds bleak, huh?

Last week, I read of a women in Indiana who lost her job, teaching, at a Catholic School. The reason, she used IVF in order to conceive her second child.  This goes against Church doctrine, hence, she breached the part of her contract that stated she would follow the rules and values of Catholicism.

OK, this made me mad. I watched her story, on the Today Show, and was furious. The part that really got to me, the Parish Priest referred to this lady as an "immoral sinner."  Wow. Immoral Sinner? Due to using ART (artificial reproductive technologies), specifically IVF, to grow her family?

Then on Monday, I read another story of a local teacher who lost her job at a Catholic school due to using IUI in order to conceive her children. 

Doesn't Jesus love little children? Or does he only love the ones produced via the "special hug" I learned about in 7th grade? Jesus only loves the ones whose life begin in a uterus, not a petri dish? Did I miss that chapter of my Bible?

 I am pretty sure an embryo created in a uterus or a petri dish looks like this at 3 days after conception.
Could you tell a difference? OK, besides the fact it's harder to get a picture of the one in a uterus?
And yes, these were mine. Apparently, I am an immoral sinner.  All I wanted was to be a Mom. Was God punshing me for my immoral ways by letting that cycle end in a miscarriage? Doubt it. I highly doubt it. My God is not a vengeful God.

Was the Priest at my school who hurt little boys an immoral sinner? I guess he was after 20 years of being switched from Parish to Parish, hurting more victims, then he finally ended up in jail. How about the adulterous priest who hooked with with a married parishioner? He lost his collar, she lost her husband, but they lived happily ever after. Which of those sins is the most immoral? The inferile teacher? She had/has a disease -- the other situations 2 were choices. I highly doubt she choose to be infertile.


First off, infertility is a DISEASE.  These women sought out treatment for their disease.   I know very few people who willingly went down the road of infertility saying "Woo-hoo! This should be a breeze!"  No. Anyone who has gone that path has done so dragging their feet. It's the last chance you have to carry a child and bare it from your womb. 

I cannot think of anyone that goes, "Pick ME- give ME cancer!" I also, cannot think of anyone I know going, "Me! Let ME be the infertile one! Give me a good version of infertility, like Unexplained Infertility!  A great one where, there is a problem, but no one knows WHY!!!"  So, is the Catholic church going to start telling other parishioners with diseases that they can't get medical intervention?
Seriously, no one asks for cancer and, no one asks for infertility. They are both diseases that you can choose to get treated or not. While cancer can take your life, infertility can take your soul. Both are evil. I do not see either as immoral sins.

Let's think a little more about this, since I am a Catholic (who apparently, has gone against church doctrine), the way to have a family is the "biblical way" a man and a woman.  Funny, when I was being treated, there was a man (Jeff) and a woman (me) and a team of smart people trying to get me pregnant.  The team helped my eggs and Jeff's sperm be friends. Here is the problem, this did not happen inside my body. THIS is the problem. HOWEVER, having read the Bible. Having studied religion during my 12 years of Catholic education....The Immaculate Conception? Seems to me, God placed the holy spirit inside Mary. (see this is the going to hell part) God and Mary did not hook up - unless there was a foot note in the Bible somewhere that I missed.  The Holy Spirit came to her. And, even more of a gasp, she was pregnant before she and Joseph got married.  Wow. Scandal.

So, Jesus was not created the "normal way."  Yet, many of us, including me, revere him. He said, "Let the little children come to me" and "Love your neighbor as yourself."  Yes, I enjoy focusing on the great stuff in the Bible, I'm not so much of an "eye for an eye" kind of girl.

But, my heart is deeply in turmoil for these ladies. I just don't know where to go from here. I had Catholic prayer groups praying for me to get pregnant during our cycles, heck I even went to a Catholic healing touch lady to pray over me during a cycle.  No one, during any of these encounters looked at me and said, "Kim, you are breaking Church doctrine- you are an immoral sinner. You are hell bound. Go away before your sinful ways infect me!!! SINNER!!!!"

All any one could focus on was the child that Jeff and I longed to have. Which we planned to bring up in the Catholic Church.    How do all those children who were conceived via ART feel when they sit next to me in the pew? Are they even allowed to be there? The fact that how they were conceived is such a sin, but yet they are still baptised and allowed to enter into our faith? Does their baptism free them from the sin of their parents? Why can't confession free me from MY sins. Where is forgiveness in any of this?

See it's all so convoluted to me. I cannot wrap my head around allowing Priests to hurt children, and brush it under the rug. How many people in POWER in the Catholic Church turned a blind eye to all that? Obviously a WHOLE BUNCH.

Yet, these women, who just want to be mothers, lost their jobs at Catholic Schools, because it's against Church doctrine.  How many other teachers go against Church beliefs and are still employed? Teachers or youth ministry people who were unfaithful to their spouses - yet still employed?  I am sure the list of sinners is as long as the list of people still employed. I just don't understand.

My bottom line is, God gave my Reproductive Endrocrinologist the skills and GIFT to be able to learn how to assist women in becoming mothers. God gave him his skill. It's his God Given Gift. 

We were told on our Wedding Day, "Be fruitful and multiple."  We, like many couples, did our best, but we needed help with the multiply part. I am pretty sure on judgement day, God will bring up my bitchy behavior, before he brings up my IVF. OK, and maybe a few other things, but I bet the IVF thing will never get mentioned.