---- Kim steps up to soapbox ----
AGAIN adoption and the misinterpretation of adoption has me livid.
Earlier this fine fall television season, a new ABC delight called "Once Upon a Time" aired. A super interesting story that interweaves all the fairy tales you grew up with a recent day storyline. There is Cinderella, Hansel and Gretal, Red Riding hood, Rumpelstiltskin and Snow White, to name a few. The show is very creative, and I like it.
HOWEVER, part of the present day story line revolves around a Birth Mother, an Adoptive Mother and a child. Lots of the adoption story line fictional fabrication, I can accept. Writing fiction, I understand, but their misinterpretation of adoption, more specifically plotting Adoptive Parent against Birth Parent is really annoying. I know it's fiction, but this show is not helping how society perceives adoptive parent versus birth parent relationships. Or, as I hear it in the grocery store, "What's he think about his REAL (birth) mother?" Again, adding fuel to the raging misconception of BIRTH = REAL Parent, and Adoptive Parent = Fake Parent??? I'm never sure what I am if Connor's birth mother is his "real" mother; I must be simply a stand in to get him to 18 so he and his "real" mother can re-unite in some fantasy world????
The problem with this ABC show is, the Evil Witch is the ADOPTIVE MOM. I thought I was being sensitive, until another adoptive Mom spoke to me about how much she liked the show, but the EVIL adoptive Mom thing is just too much to overlook. I feel this way, yet I still tune in. I keep trying to see her as the Evil Queen, and not the Evil Adoptive Mom. I should just tune out, but I like the concept of the show.
On this show, the child seems to see his Birth Mother, as his savior. The child is plotting with the Birth Mother to save him from his evil ADOPTIVE mother. Yeah, the underlying tone of ADOPTIVE MOM = EVIL, and Birth Mom or (my favorite) "REAL MOM" will save the day, has my hackles all raised. After a few episodes, I let ABC know my thoughts by sending them a well drafted letter of "Why are adoptive Mom's and adopted kids typically perceived in a negative light?"
I never heard back, and did not expect to. I know it's fiction, that is fine, but it could have been written differently. I did forgive them, and I do still watch the show, it's been an interesting watch. And, the Mom is pretty damn evil.
Then came Desperate Housewives. Another ABC show, and show I have watched since episode number one. I've enjoyed the craziness on Wisteria Lane. Until now. There is currently a story line where, a character, Susan, learned her daughter, Julie, is 6 months pregnant. Julie, the daughter, is planning on, "Giving the baby up for adoption." Of course, I heard that line and did a mental head slap, stupid ABC strikes again- I am sure more birth mothers hear the words, "Birth Plan" and "Placed for adoption" more than prospective adoptive parents. Since this characters has already been in touch with an agency, she would have received some cousiling, and such. "We" adoptive people do not really care to use the word "gave up" anymore. Yes, sure when times were different, some women were forced to "give up" their child. Now a day, the adoptive community has worked to use more positive words of "placed" for adoption and "birth plan." Seriously, if you were a 5 year old child, do you want to hear, "Oh, your REAL MOM, GAVE YOU UP." or "Your birth mother, made an adoption plan for you and we were blessed you were PLACED with us via the miracle of adoption." Gave up, doesn't leave a warm fuzzy feeling with anyone involved in adoption.
Back to my soapbox, the Desperate Housewife storyline has gotten a WHOLE LOT WORSE. Instead of being a supportive Mother, Susan tells Julie how much she will miss by "giving away my grand baby." There is scene after scene of the Susan pressuring her daughter to parent, and scene after scene of the daughter saying this is her decision to "give up" the baby. Scenes of saying how this will be the biggest mistake of her life to give up her baby to let strangers raise the child. It is a nightmare to watch. Last episode, the birth father came into the picture. Now, he wants to parent. As an adoptive mother, I am ready to tune out and just pretend the show has already ended. I am so disgusted.
Honestly, it is so upsettings that each series, shows adoption in such a negative light. I am just so disappointed. Even though it's fiction, it is simply reinforcing these perceived stereotypes of adoption. The irony that these are two ABC shows and back to back on my TV schedule has not escaped me. ABC needs to change their slogan for Sundays to be "we hate adoptive parent Sunday."
Something ABC does have correct is, some Birth parents will get that negative pressure to parent from their parents or other people. I know Connor's birth mom got an earful from a lady on how she "Can't give that baby away to those strangers. Your his Momma, be his Momma. I kept my baby I had at 16, you are 19 your should do this." Every fear I had of her waiting to parent disappeared when she said, that she could parent, but she wanted something better for her son. Not a life of struggling to get by, but a life with a loving couple who was ready to be parents. Connor's birth mother is a strong lady who did what any mother would do, she made a tough decision, placing her child's needs before anyone . She is a very brave lady.
BUT, back to television....................
On a positive note, NBC has a new show called Smash. On the first episode, they introduced a minor storyline of adoption. This adoption storyline is an international one, China in fact. I have been following this show and the adoption story line for two episodes; I have been pleasantly surprised.
During the show, a social worker came for a home study, the couple heard about the 2 year wait for their child, they were asked to write a letter to a birth mother, attend a support group, etc. So far, NBC has not only done their homework on adoption and proper adoption verbiage -- they are doing it right so far. Unless they totally screw it all up, they might just have it right.
Still after all these years. Trying to get television to "do" adoption right is hard. I do not understand why they will get "real doctors" for hospital dramas to get stories right, but they can't find one person in their arsenal of people to get adoption right? I think television sees adoption as a great fictitious story line. It would just be nice to see them get it right, and show what a beautiful thing adoption and birth parent relationships can be.
----Kim now steps off soapbox ----
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
43
For 43 months I have been changing diapers. Apparently, about 43 months is my limit.
If you recall, my very talented, smart, super awesome son pretty well potty trained himself. I was simply part of his support staff. One morning, he woke up (on our first big snow storm in Dec 2010) and said to me "NO DIAPER!" From that day forward, he worked on perfecting his new skill.
Sure, we had a few issues (ahem, peeing outside like the dog is not really acceptable, I prefer we use the indoor facilities). This summer, Connor decided to night train himself. Again, it was his telling me, "No more pull-up, only big boy pants." Hence why I have 2 unopened giant boxes of pull-ups in my basement.
All in all, Connor is trained and it's AWESOME. He told me he was ready, so we went for it! He did all the work, I was along for the ride.
Then there is Calista.
The girl.
The one who should be easy to train, so the books say.
Old wives tales tell me a girl should be easier too.
Books lie.
So do old wives.
Yeah, she's pretty resistant to the whole potty concept. I read that age 2 years 3 months to age 2 years 6 months is the "golden" window for training. She was 2 years 6 months on 2/13/12. I have been trying to patiently wait. Waiting for her, like Connor, to tell me "NO DIAPER." I think she's more apt to starting speaking fluent Mandarin Chinese, like her beloved Kai Lan. I fear she likes her diaper. I fear she likes it too much. Stupid diaper.
Due, to a few "incidents" this week, I'm done with diapers, changing tables, and the like. DONE. My limit is 43 months of diaper changing. I even canceled my next diaper order, I am THAT done. It sort of started when I realized she is too long for her changing pad. This causes her legs and feet to hang off the edge. Which now means, she can kick the basket on the changing table that holds her diapers, wipes, etc. Now that she knows she can reach this, I have been spending a few days cleaning up kicked over diaper basket paraphernalia. A smart person would just simply move the location of the basket, instead, I am waging war with a stubborn 2 year-6month-2day-year old.
I do not care to play this game any longer.
This will not be easy. I am hoping she decides she want to try this. I have greatbribery celebration treats for her. I thought she would run to the potty and go, in order to obtain one of Disney's coveted Princess Figurines. I was wrong. She could careless. Same with M&Ms, suckers, a new bike, etc. Nothing.
I am screwed.
I will continue to try, already today she embraced her Jesse "big girl" pants. She understood that if she "wet" Jesse and Bullseye, that they would cry. As she pee'd on the floor, she exclaimed, "Oh No, Jesse crying." Crap. Thank God we are stocked up on carpet cleaner. This happened in my office, so, what's a little kid pee mixed in with cat pee and previous owner dog pee. This carpet is like a pee magnet. Maybe once everyone is done peeing on it (due to great drugs, I think the cats have ceased peeing in here), I can get new flooring. Well, that was off topic.
Yes, Calista, Mommy is trying to bribe/beg you to pee in the potty. I will try to work together with you, but soon, you will be out of diapers. And I will just buy more carpet cleaner.
We are trying to celebrate her staying dry (we used this technique with Connor), but she just doesn't care. I fear this will be an epic struggle, ending with me telling Amazon to go ahead and send those 167 count of size 5 diapers. FYI, Connor was trained before he even fit into size 5. I hope to God I don't get to see size 6 diapers. I am just going to tell CC, they don't exist.
I think CC won round 1, she asked for her diaper and I gave it to her. It's baby steps right? Plus, our Lori (sitter/cousin) is here and it would be EVIL to just leave her with CC peeing all over. Maybe after lunch we can try again. Then again, Lori did help with Connor, so, maybe I can just get her to do it? Good thinking, right?
Sigh, this is my Mommy job. I should not pass this off on anyone. My mother-in-law offered to train CC while I am on a business trip next month. I accepted, but it just doesn't feel right. I should really help, kind of another Mommy right of passage. I have a few weeks before I leave, so hopefully we can make a little headway.
Here's hoping CC decides to play nice and potty on her little potty. Fingers crossed. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll bribe her with a pet penguin.
If you recall, my very talented, smart, super awesome son pretty well potty trained himself. I was simply part of his support staff. One morning, he woke up (on our first big snow storm in Dec 2010) and said to me "NO DIAPER!" From that day forward, he worked on perfecting his new skill.
Sure, we had a few issues (ahem, peeing outside like the dog is not really acceptable, I prefer we use the indoor facilities). This summer, Connor decided to night train himself. Again, it was his telling me, "No more pull-up, only big boy pants." Hence why I have 2 unopened giant boxes of pull-ups in my basement.
All in all, Connor is trained and it's AWESOME. He told me he was ready, so we went for it! He did all the work, I was along for the ride.
Then there is Calista.
The girl.
The one who should be easy to train, so the books say.
Old wives tales tell me a girl should be easier too.
Books lie.
So do old wives.
Yeah, she's pretty resistant to the whole potty concept. I read that age 2 years 3 months to age 2 years 6 months is the "golden" window for training. She was 2 years 6 months on 2/13/12. I have been trying to patiently wait. Waiting for her, like Connor, to tell me "NO DIAPER." I think she's more apt to starting speaking fluent Mandarin Chinese, like her beloved Kai Lan. I fear she likes her diaper. I fear she likes it too much. Stupid diaper.
Due, to a few "incidents" this week, I'm done with diapers, changing tables, and the like. DONE. My limit is 43 months of diaper changing. I even canceled my next diaper order, I am THAT done. It sort of started when I realized she is too long for her changing pad. This causes her legs and feet to hang off the edge. Which now means, she can kick the basket on the changing table that holds her diapers, wipes, etc. Now that she knows she can reach this, I have been spending a few days cleaning up kicked over diaper basket paraphernalia. A smart person would just simply move the location of the basket, instead, I am waging war with a stubborn 2 year-6month-2day-year old.
I do not care to play this game any longer.
This will not be easy. I am hoping she decides she want to try this. I have great
I am screwed.
I will continue to try, already today she embraced her Jesse "big girl" pants. She understood that if she "wet" Jesse and Bullseye, that they would cry. As she pee'd on the floor, she exclaimed, "Oh No, Jesse crying." Crap. Thank God we are stocked up on carpet cleaner. This happened in my office, so, what's a little kid pee mixed in with cat pee and previous owner dog pee. This carpet is like a pee magnet. Maybe once everyone is done peeing on it (due to great drugs, I think the cats have ceased peeing in here), I can get new flooring. Well, that was off topic.
Yes, Calista, Mommy is trying to bribe/beg you to pee in the potty. I will try to work together with you, but soon, you will be out of diapers. And I will just buy more carpet cleaner.
We are trying to celebrate her staying dry (we used this technique with Connor), but she just doesn't care. I fear this will be an epic struggle, ending with me telling Amazon to go ahead and send those 167 count of size 5 diapers. FYI, Connor was trained before he even fit into size 5. I hope to God I don't get to see size 6 diapers. I am just going to tell CC, they don't exist.
I think CC won round 1, she asked for her diaper and I gave it to her. It's baby steps right? Plus, our Lori (sitter/cousin) is here and it would be EVIL to just leave her with CC peeing all over. Maybe after lunch we can try again. Then again, Lori did help with Connor, so, maybe I can just get her to do it? Good thinking, right?
Sigh, this is my Mommy job. I should not pass this off on anyone. My mother-in-law offered to train CC while I am on a business trip next month. I accepted, but it just doesn't feel right. I should really help, kind of another Mommy right of passage. I have a few weeks before I leave, so hopefully we can make a little headway.
Here's hoping CC decides to play nice and potty on her little potty. Fingers crossed. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll bribe her with a pet penguin.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentines....
To my Jeff, Connor and Calista, I love you more than Paula Dean loves butter, bacon, and sour cream.
If you've watched Paula cook, that means I love those 3 A WHOLE LOT!
I got mad at Calista's little Valentines we purchased at Target. So she, Connor and I made these:
Now a few snow on Valentines Day Pictures....
If you've watched Paula cook, that means I love those 3 A WHOLE LOT!
I got mad at Calista's little Valentines we purchased at Target. So she, Connor and I made these:
 |
| Stupid Disney card, a baseball card (for size comparison), and our awesome card. Go Penguin! |
Now a few snow on Valentines Day Pictures....
 |
| cheese! |
 |
| Making "snow prints" (that was what Connor called his footprints in the snow) |
 |
| Connor and CC walking around in circles making more snow prints |
 |
| Connor Joe |
Happy Valetines to you all!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
February Kid Fun!!!
OK, so I've been using Pinterest too much. Here are two activites the kids LOVED!
Salt Dough
I used the recipe from this website (I halved it and there was PLENTY to play with)
http://homemadegrits.blogspot.com/2009/12/handmade-christmas-homemade-ornaments.html
Ingredients4 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 1/2 cups water
Directions
Combine ingredients and knead dough for 15 to 20 minutes
Roll out, and make shapes
Bake at 300ºF about 20 to 25 minutes or until golden. You may have to bake considerably longer depending on how thick your items are. They may not feel hard right away but will harden as they cool.
tip: make sure to use a nonstick surface, or spray cookie sheet with pam.
At this point, Connor and I painted the cut outs with Acrylic Paints, and used glitter and glue. We made a bunch of hearts to hang around for Valentine's Day- here's a finished one.
It was an easy project with very little mess!!
Next kid activity up is a little more messy.
Shaving Cream Paints
Ingredients
Empty muffin tin
Shaving cream
Food coloring
Paint Brushes
Kids in a bath tub
Method: Put a glob of shaving cream in the muffin tin, add 1 drop of food coloring (more will stain your kid and grout- consider yourself warned). Mix. Give to child to create art.
This idea came from Pinterest, but I cannot find the original link :(
Calista LOVES doing this; we have painted about 4 times. Now, she will get the muffin tin, hands it to me and says, "PAINT!" We are running out of shaving cream so, I need to get to the store.
Things to note:
1. Muffin tins will not float long. I learned that our first time doing this and all our "paint" floated away.
2. Using too much food coloring will stain skin and grout (my grout did turn back to white with some Clorox clean-up, but I did enjoy the purple color for a bit).
3. The bath water gets yucky- so I do drain 1/2 of it when we complete painting.
4. After rinsing off the "art" with your removable shower nozzle (if you have one), ensure it's SNUG back up and does not fall at hit your daughter's skull to create a major boo-boo (sorry CC)
This is FUN and easy to clean up! Really! The kids loved it more than their glow stick bath.
Those are a couple of our latest adventures in kid fun. I'm not sure what's up next!
Salt Dough
I used the recipe from this website (I halved it and there was PLENTY to play with)
http://homemadegrits.blogspot.com/2009/12/handmade-christmas-homemade-ornaments.html
Ingredients4 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 1/2 cups water
Directions
Combine ingredients and knead dough for 15 to 20 minutes
Roll out, and make shapes
Bake at 300ºF about 20 to 25 minutes or until golden. You may have to bake considerably longer depending on how thick your items are. They may not feel hard right away but will harden as they cool.
tip: make sure to use a nonstick surface, or spray cookie sheet with pam.
 |
| CC rolling it out (she even has penguin Pjs, I know) |
 |
| Connor's turn |
 |
| Shapes- We used play-doh shape cutters and cookie cutters |
 |
| Ready to bake |
 |
| Snack time while they bake |
 |
| Finished |
 |
| Pretty |
Next kid activity up is a little more messy.
Shaving Cream Paints
Ingredients
Empty muffin tin
Shaving cream
Food coloring
Paint Brushes
Kids in a bath tub
Method: Put a glob of shaving cream in the muffin tin, add 1 drop of food coloring (more will stain your kid and grout- consider yourself warned). Mix. Give to child to create art.
This idea came from Pinterest, but I cannot find the original link :(
Calista LOVES doing this; we have painted about 4 times. Now, she will get the muffin tin, hands it to me and says, "PAINT!" We are running out of shaving cream so, I need to get to the store.
 |
| Our "Paints" |
 |
| CC paints |
 |
| Connor- only paints on walls and CC- NEVER himself. |
 |
| More Art- She enjoys painting her hands and toes |
 |
| The Paint Holder Great shot of me, thanks Jeff... |
1. Muffin tins will not float long. I learned that our first time doing this and all our "paint" floated away.
2. Using too much food coloring will stain skin and grout (my grout did turn back to white with some Clorox clean-up, but I did enjoy the purple color for a bit).
3. The bath water gets yucky- so I do drain 1/2 of it when we complete painting.
4. After rinsing off the "art" with your removable shower nozzle (if you have one), ensure it's SNUG back up and does not fall at hit your daughter's skull to create a major boo-boo (sorry CC)
This is FUN and easy to clean up! Really! The kids loved it more than their glow stick bath.
Those are a couple of our latest adventures in kid fun. I'm not sure what's up next!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Unanswered Prayers
"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"
- Garth Brooks
I had to check my blog archives to see if I have ever typed about this day. Turns out I have not. Well, today is the day I will. And it might just be the final step in my healing process.
Let's review.... June 2007, we finally had our first ever positive pregnancy test, you know thanks to the science of IVF and ICSI. (For the lay people- they took my prettiest eggs, took Jeff's handsome-ist sperm, smushed them together to create our embryo's. The ICSI is when they get smushed together, we had to do that, as at that time, my eggs hated Jef's stuff, and even when forced to hang out in a petrie dish together, my eggs were all snotty and ignored Jeff's guys. So, if you smush them together, they don't have a chance to not mingle together. Take that snotty eggs!). Anyway, we were given a due date of February 3, 2008. A winter baby, an Aquarius- just like me. This date would make our baby a Birthday buddy with our friend Mark (Shout out to Mark G- Happy Birthday!) . We were excited, to say the least. So, for a few weeks, before everything went sideways, I was super excited for February.
Then things went sideways. And it was bad. Really bad.
That summer, we had a friend whose teenage daughter was PG. After we suffered our loss, like any infertile woman, I was totally and completely envious, and distraught every time I saw her and her every expanding belly. I felt the typical thoughts of, "Why her and not me? She should be going to college, not be a Mommy. THAT should be me." It was tough, our friends knew that. It sucked, we did not discuss it much. But, it seemed around every corner was her. I did mention the words adoption to them, but she wanted to parent. Her and her boyfriend were in love and wanted to be a family. You can't blame anyone for wanting happiness, but I was pretty pissed my happiness was being denied.
Like I said, these were dark days.
In the true fashion of learning from the Universe, we hung out a lot with those friends that year. We got to see the expecting Mom a lot. We even got her a cute shower gift, of course picking it out for her was pure hell. Being in a baby aisle without and glimmer of hope of having a baby is one horrible feeling. It's like my feet were in cement shoes, I was drowning in the horror of placing myself in that situation. To say it sucked was mild.
Then, in Jan of 2008, I met Connor's birth mom. Finally, hope started peeking in. Just a spec of hope, not too much for fear the hope would fill me - then my world would come crashing down again. I only let in a spec of hope, it had fooled me before.
But, things were looking up. We a potential Birth Mom, Jeff and I were joining a friend, Scott, for a trip to see the Reds play at spring training. [A SIDE NOTE: On that trip we met Scott's Aunt who was also in the adoption process -- in fact, their birth mom was LIVING with them! I did take that as an interesting happenstance.] Everything was looking OK -- but, that damn due date was approaching. Jeff and I never spoke of it, but, it was in the back of our minds.
February 3, 2008 - was tough. It was a Sunday. We went to Church, I felt that was important to be in my pew on that day. In fact, I made out a large check and placed it in the collection basket. My intention was someone should see a little light and hope on this day, even if it was not Jeff or I. Then we got a call. "Hey, XXX, is in labor! While we wait, want to meet us for lunch?"
Breath sucked out of me, knife stabbed in my heart. Not only does she "get" the pregnancy, she "gets" MY due date. Talk about a rough day.
We did meet for lunch, we did go back to the hospital with them for a bit. I did say a prayer for safety for Mom and baby. Then we went home. That was a hard day. I again, tried to use my glass 1/2 full thought of, "At least this day is bringing someone else joy." I tried, but it was tough for me to even find joy over envy, frustration, saddness, and defeat.
Fast forward 4 years... That little girl is 4, my friend Mark is 4 years older than he was in 2008. And I am a Mom of 2 wonderful, crazy little kids. Jeff and I are a family. I'm a Mommy.
Had that pregnancy in 2007 gone to term, I don't know how my life today would be. I know we would not have Connor or Calista. The prayer in my heart was to be a Mommy; to be a family. It just was not my time then, I just did not know it.
I love my life, I really could not be happier. I get to see these two littles every day:
So, for that, I thank God for unanswered prayers.
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"
- Garth Brooks
I had to check my blog archives to see if I have ever typed about this day. Turns out I have not. Well, today is the day I will. And it might just be the final step in my healing process.
Let's review.... June 2007, we finally had our first ever positive pregnancy test, you know thanks to the science of IVF and ICSI. (For the lay people- they took my prettiest eggs, took Jeff's handsome-ist sperm, smushed them together to create our embryo's. The ICSI is when they get smushed together, we had to do that, as at that time, my eggs hated Jef's stuff, and even when forced to hang out in a petrie dish together, my eggs were all snotty and ignored Jeff's guys. So, if you smush them together, they don't have a chance to not mingle together. Take that snotty eggs!). Anyway, we were given a due date of February 3, 2008. A winter baby, an Aquarius- just like me. This date would make our baby a Birthday buddy with our friend Mark (Shout out to Mark G- Happy Birthday!) . We were excited, to say the least. So, for a few weeks, before everything went sideways, I was super excited for February.
Then things went sideways. And it was bad. Really bad.
That summer, we had a friend whose teenage daughter was PG. After we suffered our loss, like any infertile woman, I was totally and completely envious, and distraught every time I saw her and her every expanding belly. I felt the typical thoughts of, "Why her and not me? She should be going to college, not be a Mommy. THAT should be me." It was tough, our friends knew that. It sucked, we did not discuss it much. But, it seemed around every corner was her. I did mention the words adoption to them, but she wanted to parent. Her and her boyfriend were in love and wanted to be a family. You can't blame anyone for wanting happiness, but I was pretty pissed my happiness was being denied.
Like I said, these were dark days.
In the true fashion of learning from the Universe, we hung out a lot with those friends that year. We got to see the expecting Mom a lot. We even got her a cute shower gift, of course picking it out for her was pure hell. Being in a baby aisle without and glimmer of hope of having a baby is one horrible feeling. It's like my feet were in cement shoes, I was drowning in the horror of placing myself in that situation. To say it sucked was mild.
Then, in Jan of 2008, I met Connor's birth mom. Finally, hope started peeking in. Just a spec of hope, not too much for fear the hope would fill me - then my world would come crashing down again. I only let in a spec of hope, it had fooled me before.
But, things were looking up. We a potential Birth Mom, Jeff and I were joining a friend, Scott, for a trip to see the Reds play at spring training. [A SIDE NOTE: On that trip we met Scott's Aunt who was also in the adoption process -- in fact, their birth mom was LIVING with them! I did take that as an interesting happenstance.] Everything was looking OK -- but, that damn due date was approaching. Jeff and I never spoke of it, but, it was in the back of our minds.
February 3, 2008 - was tough. It was a Sunday. We went to Church, I felt that was important to be in my pew on that day. In fact, I made out a large check and placed it in the collection basket. My intention was someone should see a little light and hope on this day, even if it was not Jeff or I. Then we got a call. "Hey, XXX, is in labor! While we wait, want to meet us for lunch?"
Breath sucked out of me, knife stabbed in my heart. Not only does she "get" the pregnancy, she "gets" MY due date. Talk about a rough day.
We did meet for lunch, we did go back to the hospital with them for a bit. I did say a prayer for safety for Mom and baby. Then we went home. That was a hard day. I again, tried to use my glass 1/2 full thought of, "At least this day is bringing someone else joy." I tried, but it was tough for me to even find joy over envy, frustration, saddness, and defeat.
Fast forward 4 years... That little girl is 4, my friend Mark is 4 years older than he was in 2008. And I am a Mom of 2 wonderful, crazy little kids. Jeff and I are a family. I'm a Mommy.
Had that pregnancy in 2007 gone to term, I don't know how my life today would be. I know we would not have Connor or Calista. The prayer in my heart was to be a Mommy; to be a family. It just was not my time then, I just did not know it.
I love my life, I really could not be happier. I get to see these two littles every day:
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Family Day 2012
We celebrate our Family Day/Adoption Day/Gotcha Day/Fam-aversary Day on the day Connor's adoption was finalized. Lucky for me it hits a couple days after my Birthday. I thought it might be neat to do a little picture parade of our celebrations.
2009
Connor's adoption was finalized on the snowiest, iciest day of the New Year. I was so scared the Courthouse was going to close for the day. Lucky for us, they stayed open. We were the first case of the day, but they did close early and were closed the next day. Besides the weather, I was equally terrified that our lawyer, social worker, and magistrate would find out I was pregnant and would stop our proceedings. Honestly, it was stupid to worry about, but I was scared. I think I watched too many Lifetime and Hallmark movies.
Everything worked out fine. Our adoption was final, we went and had a nice breakfast, then we went to play in the snow.
2010
So, how do you celebrate Family Day with a 1.5 year old and a 5 month old? You go to the local children's museum!!!
2011
We went exploring at our local Natural History Museum. The night before our special day, Connor fell face first and busted his nose up. Can you tell?
2012
I was trying to get a re-do of the bed picture from 2009, but these two were way too busy. They were snuggled in, playing the I-pad. We spent the day at the Natural History Museum AND the Children's Museum (we have passes now!). It was a bunch of fun.
Besides our initial Adoption Finalization Day, we then have lunch at the same restaurant. It's very yummy and right on the river so Connor can watch the barges and tug-boats go by. Does Calista watch them? Nope, she usually sleeps through lunch :)
I cannot believe he has been mine for 4 years. It really has been a blink of an eye-- and where did that baby girl go?! I cannot believe how big they are both getting. I fear one day I am going to go to bed, then wake up to find they are grown with their own families... even when I'm in the thick of a crazy day with two littles, one day I will yern for these days...ok, maybe not the days when they had a complete diaper blow out...
2009
Connor's adoption was finalized on the snowiest, iciest day of the New Year. I was so scared the Courthouse was going to close for the day. Lucky for us, they stayed open. We were the first case of the day, but they did close early and were closed the next day. Besides the weather, I was equally terrified that our lawyer, social worker, and magistrate would find out I was pregnant and would stop our proceedings. Honestly, it was stupid to worry about, but I was scared. I think I watched too many Lifetime and Hallmark movies.
Everything worked out fine. Our adoption was final, we went and had a nice breakfast, then we went to play in the snow.
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| 2009 |
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| Watching all the closings. Look at all Connor's hair! |
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| Our backyard |
So, how do you celebrate Family Day with a 1.5 year old and a 5 month old? You go to the local children's museum!!!
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| Baby CC and Baby Connor |
We went exploring at our local Natural History Museum. The night before our special day, Connor fell face first and busted his nose up. Can you tell?
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| Connor 2.5 years old, Calista 1year 5 months |
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| Cutest Explorer Ever |
I was trying to get a re-do of the bed picture from 2009, but these two were way too busy. They were snuggled in, playing the I-pad. We spent the day at the Natural History Museum AND the Children's Museum (we have passes now!). It was a bunch of fun.
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| Look at the camera... |
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| Take 2... |
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| Take 3... oh I give up... |
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| What big eyes you have... |
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| The Next Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson? |
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| Playing in the water! |
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| Rope tunnel! |
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| Cruising |
I cannot believe he has been mine for 4 years. It really has been a blink of an eye-- and where did that baby girl go?! I cannot believe how big they are both getting. I fear one day I am going to go to bed, then wake up to find they are grown with their own families... even when I'm in the thick of a crazy day with two littles, one day I will yern for these days...ok, maybe not the days when they had a complete diaper blow out...
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