Post-op and Screaming Seams....

Today would have been 12 weeks. The week we were waiting for. We should have been able to share our news with everyone today, but......

I had my post op appointment about a week and a half ago. Everything looks fine and is healing as expected. Dr. A took his time to answer all of the questions Jeff and I had. He told us they did not see anything odd in the pathology of the "tissue" sample. We discussed in depth how our blighted ovum (empty sac), just happens. Our doctor is not near as discouraged as we are. He is extremely pleased we were actually able to get pregnant. It's like we keep getting closer to our goal, then somehow we trip and lose sight of it. It sucks. The whole thing sucks, but Jeff and I are healing. We are discussing trying one more time (famous last words). Dr. A did give us an another grant towards our next attempt, however financially we are stuck until we sell this house. We started a novena to St. Joseph to help sell the house... so far no dice. I even went to get a statue to bury, but apparently our catholic store went out of business. So much for the Catholic Peddler.

On to lighter topics..........

I totally geeked out and stood in line Friday/Saturday at 12:01am to get the new Harry Potter book. I finished it Sunday evening. Honestly the last 150-200 pages, I could not put it down. It was a very good conclusion to the series. It was sad to finish it. I remember reading the first two as Jeff and I were engaged. I took #3 with me to read on the Honeymoon and purchased #4 in Maui during our second day of the honeymoon. When the first movie came out, it was during our first couple years of marriage, I remember playing the computer game late at night. Then when the second movie came out, it was a great excuse for us to buy a play station 2. I remember that day well because that was when we first began testing for our fertility issues. Funny I remember the day of our first semen analysis was also the day we saw a Harry Potter movie AND purchased a Play Station 2 - an action packed day. LOL! So, it's sad there has been a conclusion to the series. But at least there are still 2 movies to be made, and I can re-read these books when the mood strikes me.

Last random thought... Who in God's Green Earth dresses some of these people at softball fields? Jeff had a tourny on the WAY West Side of town Sunday. Some of these people, holy cow. Honestly, there has never been a day in my life when I have walked out of my house in white Spandex and thought "I am DAAAMNNNN Hot!" OK, first I've never walked out of ANY house to go in PUBLIC wearing white spandex. Yes, I did own a pair of white spandex bike shorts back in the early 90's -- that was back in my leotard wearing days. Those were actually for WORKING OUT, not to make a fashion statement.

Also, there is cheering for your husband and his teammates, then their is "cheering" for your team. In all my years of softball viewing, I have yet to watch Jeff make a play and go (add southern-ish accent) "That's MY MAN!" First off, the people I sit with know I'm married to him, hence he is (in theory) my man. Second, I cheer for the whole team, not just for Jeff. It just cracks me up. Yes, if you sit near me, you might hear my unenthusiastic/ sarcastic, "Go Jeff." There is a reason. Jeff has explained to me he hears me as he bats. Kind of like during my beam routine there were only a handful of people I heard as I went though the routine. If I was all enthusiastic going (add southern-ish accent), "Let's go Jeffro! Hit the snot outta that ball!" A few things would occur, first I'd pee myself laughing so hard, Jeff would strike out and have to buy the team beer. So, it seems earlier to just cheer as I feel for the moment. Anyway, moral for the story avoid white spandex pants and ANY pants that look as if the seams are screaming for mercy. Just a tip.

How am I?

How am I? I am OK. Each day has been every different since last Friday. On Friday I was on some GREAT medicine. Then it wore off by Saturday. Saturday was very tough, more physically tough. Physically my healing is going A LOT slower than I anticipated. I am still taking ibuprofen for pain a few times a day, but each day does seem to bring some healing. We go back next week for our post-op check. So, I hope to have some answers on why this might have occurred. Honestly , I am not sure there are answers. From how I understand it, these things do "happen." When the numbers start off so well, it's as if a blue print for a pregnancy is being read perfectly. However, as time goes by, something happens to this blue print, where it cannot be read, maybe they started looking at the Chinese instead of English instructions. But, that is when things start to go bad. So, at some point, the directions were being read correctly, then it got all messed up. This makes me really consider God is a man, because I know any female would have asked for proper directions or an alternative once things went wrong.

Emotionally... well sometimes things are good. Sometimes they suck. I anticipate over time, things will get better. Right now all the hormones are decreasing. However, I am still trapped in a body that "thinks" it's still pregnant. At least there is no morning sickness, but the exhaustion continues. As the hormones leave, I will begin to feel more normal. As for now, I am still just hanging out. Trying to sell our house. I think Jeff is OK. We have talked a lot about our experience, and what is next. For now we are focusing on our house. This is a welcome distraction.

We hope you are all doing well, and we still thank you all for your support and prayers. I just wanted you to know we are OK.

Have a Nice Day!