"We are all fighting a battle."
I can't remember where I read that, but it is so very true. You might be fighting infertility, depression, anxiety, a bad work environment, a bad marriage, or maybe it's simply a bad day. But, yes, each day we are all fighting a battle. I think today, I may be doing battle with a 3 year old (who just came up to me, hit me in the kidney saying, "No, I did not hit you!" - explanation, we must have a ghost).
The big thing that gets me through all of my daily battles is Optimism. I have to hold onto something good, even if it is a sliver of hope. A blogger I read, The Bloggess, once did a heart bearing post about her fight with anxiety and depression - her take away was, "Depression lies." Here is her VERY moving post, The Bloggess. I have a few friends, fighting this demon right now - know I'm thinking and praying for you.
Back to optimism....
Optimism, is what brought me hope to know one day we would be parents. Heck, that is what gives me hope after those days I wonder if my children are truly possessed demon spawn. I am optimistic it was just a bad day. They are not really possessed; just little people who cannot fully express their feelings. Hence all the hitting, crying, kicking, acting like a little shaved monkey. Luckily, everyday is not like that, also I am lucky there is not much poo flinging.
Optimism walks hand in hand with acceptance for me. I can accept my mistakes, my bad days, my crazy kids, but, I am optimistic things will be better tomorrow. I wake up the next morning thinking, "Today is going to be a great day!" This is the phrase I use when I wake up the kids -- CC will beat me to the punch. As soon as I walk in her room, she says, "Great Day Mommy!" So, at least I am instilling optimism in my children. It's cheesy, I know. But, it starts the day off better than thinking, "Crap, another crap-tastic day of work and all the other typical crap." Seriously, why get out of bed if you already have thrown in the towel for the day?
Now, some negative Nancy's could call my optimism "false hope." But, I don't think that way- I can't. If you let that one sliver of negativity in, it can find a home in your soul and fester. Then, that festering feeling of false hope will tell you lies. Nothing is every possible, I cannot ever do that, I'm not worthy.... Everything becomes negative, and you become "Debbie Downer."
I'm not willing to let that happen. I will fight my battles, and I will remember false hope lies -- optimism gives me hope, prayer give me hope, and hope/faith/and love is what it's all about.
So, for all my friends on their quest to Motherhood-- may optimism find you this weekend. Know your baby will find you. Keep out the lies of "I must not be good enough to be a parent." Or, "God is punishing me for my previous sins." No, NO and NO. It's biology, science, optimism, faith, and a little luck. Try not to let the negatives bring you down. The negatives LIE just like depression and false hope. Knowing that, makes you stronger. And the stronger you are, the quicker you win your battle. And if you need to send someone a reason WHY you just cannot attend another Mother's Day event, because it is so hard... send them this...http://www.tearsandhope.com/ -- please send it with a tissue warning. And yes, back in the day I did send this with my regrets to a gathering.
For all my friends and family who have been blessed into Motherhood, or are Mothers to your cousins, neices/nephews, etc...- enjoy your weekend. But, please stop, for a moment and send out some positive vibes for our friends, still on their journey.
For all the Birth Mothers out there - we celebrate you and thank you everyday for making us Mothers.
For My Mom- Happy, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
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