Life Lessons from Gymnastics

Stepping up to an event, having practiced a routine hundreds of times, you have one shot each meet to nail the set, get through the set, or half ass it and blow it.  Bars. I always loved meets where I was able to start on bars.  I loved to swing, I loved my routine, it was comfortable, almost automatic.  BUT, you never assume it is automatic.  When you stop paying attention to the giant before the blind change, then you get off and the next skill is crap.  You must always be aware of your body, the skill, and of your mind. So much to think about, yet in the middle of it all you are calm.

Gymnastics taught me so many life lessons of staying calm and composed in the midst of a shit storm.  I learned I could fall and give up, or fall and rally to finish strong.  Or I could confidently make the set. 

I was never a star, never a big "Oh- look at that skill" kind of gymnast.  I had basics, I had clean skills, I had execution, I was consistent.  That is where I did well in college, I was a good consistent gymnast that was a good anchor to build bigger scores off.  I would hit my set, then cheer on my next teammate.  I would move mats, I would move boards, we would do whatever my fellow teammate needed for her routine.  And my teammates did it for me.  Who remembers drawing a smile on the mat on bars for me? Yep, I even doodled on mats.

But this sport, a tough sport like many, was so physically exhausting.  Physically punishing. Broken bones, sprains, ligament tears, tendonitis, etc.  It was me and an ice bath.  That always helped. That is why, after surgery, it seemed so natural to ice.  Ice soothes my mind and body. 

Every day at the gym wasn't awesome.  There were a hand full of days I wanted a day off or a break.  There were a few days that had tears, and frustration. But in the middle of season, you do not have the luxury to stop or give up.  You have practice, conditioning, weights, school, etc.  You keep going, you find a way deep in yourself to keep going.  So, with my cancer, I will keep going. I don't have time for daily pitty parties.  I keep moving forward, I keep running and doing yoga.  Why people ask? Why do you keep doing this if you know surgery is imminent?

As a gymnast, when I was injured I still went to practice.  I would ride the bike, and do the arm movement to a floor routine to keep in shape, I would swing bars without a dismount if I could not land.  I could always condition and always find something to work on that would not affect my injury.  Gymnastics taught me to find away to still stay strong even if you are not 100%.  Gymnastics taught me to be prepared and conditioned so I would be able to bounce back quicker.  That is why I run and yoga.  I figure the better the shape I am in, the better prepared my body is, the quicker I can heal.

But, you must respect the healing process. You cannot force healing.  Gymnastics taught me that.  You come back to quick, then you end up with a stupid flair up of tendonitis.  Had you listened to the trainer and took it slowly, you would be back sooner, instead you just caused yourself a road block. That is the hard part for me, listening to my body, and having patience during healing. Listening to pain is hard to do, but you must. As is listening to true pain, versus an annoyance.  I can't lie, there was always an annoyance of pain, a little twinge of something everyday in the gym.  The key was knowing true PAIN versus something you could work through.  Gymnastics taught be to know when to be tough versus when to back it off. It also taught me the body will heal, when given time.  I have to remember, I will heal, even if it is not as quickly as I hope.

My goal is to stay calm.  Put on my smile, my happy warrior face, and walk into surgery on October 2nd with my chin up, and my mind at peace.  I know my decision for the double mastectomy is scary, but it is appropriate treatment.  I have peace with my decision, so I am prepared.  It is like stepping up to the bars to complete and feeling 100% prepared, but still having a couple butterflies as you salute the judge. I will feel like that. 

Where my team was cheering my name, I know my friends and family will be.  We are all cheering for a good outcome.  So far, having clean Lymph nodes and a clear genetic work up have been great news.  The next step is after surgery is waiting for the pathology of my tumor and seeing what, if any, additional treatment will be needed.

I know recovery will be a LONG process. I know I will be a human, t-rex with short arms for a few weeks. I will heal, day after day, I will heal. Each day will bring a new challenge.  Each day, I will persevere and move forward, just like I did in gymnastics. 

I am thankful for my sport, for my family, friends and coaches who pushed me along in my gymnastics career. I am thankful of all the life lessons that still impact me today.  I am thankful, and I am ready.