U

Understanding

Connor and I had a typical battle again.  I hate that I allow myself to do battle with that little guy. It's not fair to me or him.  He just figured out, at a very young age, what buttons to press to get me all worked up. Being the GROWN UP, one day I hope to figure out how to better control emotions to allow for a proper dialog betwixt the two of us.  (yep I used betwixt, it's a bit more fun that standard between)

I was laying in bed one night, saying my nightly prayers and going over my day.  Connor and I had done battle that day too.  For some reason, CC and I really do not butt heads (I know my time will come).  However, if we ask her to do something or stop doing something, her reply is "OK."  Like I have made her little soul surrender to my every wish.  Or she's just going to be that little person who listens and follows directions.  It's a great thing, until it's not.  I want her to question things, just not "do as I say." 

With Connor, in order to be 90% successful, you MUST turn things on it's ear.  If I ask him to, "Go get dressed." it will be met with some sort of resistance, he will get distracted by something else. However, if we say, "OK, you and CC are going to race. Let's see who can do it first. On your mark, get set, GO!!!!"  Then that little turkey will fly to get himself ready first.  The problem is, by 8:30pm, his slacker mom is tried of games, asking, playing, asking again, YELLING .... Just.get.dressed.  After a full day of work, Mommy duty, and wife duty - I am just ready to relax, and stop talking. By 8:30pm, Connor is also a little punchy; he naps about 1/2 the time now.  No nap days, lead to nightly combat.

Please, know I am using the words combat and battle to embellish the situation. It's not like that, even if some days it DOES feel like that. It's just life with a near 4 and near 3 year old. It's not pretty, it's not all rainbows and unicorns.  We have ups and downs- all within 30 seconds. So, know I do not really, "fight" with  the little ones. 

My problem is, when there is a problem, I am the one who tends to fly off the handle (not all crazy, ape shit fly off the handle (ok, maybe a couple times), but I loose my temper).  After I yell, and act like an idiot; I realize I am BEING AN IDIOT - and I stop. I take a deep breath and ask my offending child, "Why did you _____?"  I am simply looking to understand the motivation behind the behavior.  Today, Mommy learned a good lesson of, sometimes there is no why and things are just accidents. I am trying to remember that.

My bottom line that I NEED to remember is, Breathe, and simply understand they are just little people.  I need to be there when they fall, and not be the Mom who looks at the kid going, "See I told you, that you would fall if you didn't tie your shoes/wear shoes/eat lunch/etc."

I shall chalk today up as experience, and do my best.  That's all I can try to do.  A VERY wise friend (and friend to the other 5 people who read me besides my family) once posted this reminder, "The relationship is more important than the behavior."  Sometimes that naughty behavior just clouds my vision a little.