Day 11

Have you ever found yourself just walking... then you trip. Of course you look to see what you tripped over, and there was nothing there. However you are not 100% sure it wasn't a rock the size of a grain of sand, a cat, or the mystery tripping thing. Of course you are also looking to see that no one saw you trip. Ya'll know me, I'm a klutz, I trip a lot. Sometimes, it's a big visible object (like a curb) or that grain of sand. Yep, a regular "Daughter of Grace" per my Mom.

So why this odd intro you ask. Well, at the doctor's today, I like to say we may have tripped. So, here we are just walking around during this journey and I tripped-maybe. See, this is the part of this process I blocked out. The part Jenny and I talked for hours about. Everyone around you doing this cycle, things are going text book perfect. You are always thinking of the NEXT step. You figure out things will be fine, the cycle be perfect, you will have a positive result, you figure the math when your child will be born... then BOOM, something hits you upside the head to remind you to keep it in the now. Well, you could say I got smacked and tripped- maybe.

During our typical appointment to check blood levels and do a baseline ultrasound, we got a "Hmm..." "Hmm??" We don't like "hmm's." We like everything looks textbook perfect. I got a "Hmm..." Go figure. The lady who took my blood went for the most obscure vein in my arm. I have 20 obvious veins in my arms. Perfect for blood draws. She goes for a hider vein, misses, digs around, then finally gets in. Yep, this was all before the "Hmm..." The blood draw goes normal, we do the ultrasound, here comes the "Hmmm..." My ovaries are looking good shut down as they should be, and I am instructed to continue on the lupron. The doctor jokes the Lupron must not be too bad, because Jeff was still breathing and even came to the appointment. Apparently some people have REALLY bad mood swings. I told Jeff, "See I'm not that bad." His response, "I can just deal with it better than most." Yep, he's living in the garage now. Just kidding.

Here comes the, "Hmmm..." Apparently there is "something" in my uterus. Not something like a money tree or the cure for the common cold, nothing useful- nothing good. It was a gray blob. We were told, the blob could be nothing or something. Vague enough? That "something" may cause us to cancel the cycle, and not beacause it's the something we are trying to have. I'm not being dramatic he (the doctor) even said "Depending what it is, we may need to cancel." Great I gave up wine to shoot up for 2 weeks to find a blob. Ugh. So what is it? Your guess is as good as mine, maybe it's Jimmy Hoffa. But, I think I'd notice that. Anyhow, the next plan of action is to have another check next week. We are going to a test to see if it disappears, or is still there. I'm betting it disappears. But, I was not prepared for "hmm." Stupid gray blob made me trip.