Myself and I

Now, if that title isn't great use of English, I don't know what is.  I am sure many English scholars are rolling over in their graves. Sorry. Anyway, this post is about me. And myself and I, I guess.

Me and myself have been having an internal dialog lately. Me and myself have been at odds with each other. Myself has been throwing up huge road blocks for me, keeping me from doing things. What kind of things? Mainly exercise. Myself keeps telling me, it's too cold, too wet, too hot, the stroller with 2 kids is too heavy (approximately 90 lbs of pushing).  This happens when I think about running.  I used to LOVE to run.  Then, something happened. Somehow my joy of running was replaced by loathing of running. My lungs hurt, pushing the kids was hard, my legs hurt. The more things hurt and were uncomfortable, the less I wanted to participate and lace on my shoes. But, I wanted to do SOMETHING.

Last Friday, I stepped on a scale and had a mini-heart attack. Apparently, I have been hitting the Halloween candy a little much. So, on Friday, I started making healthier food choices (no I'll do it Monday, I started that day) and went for a WALK.  The kids and I had a blast. They road in the stroller as we walked hills, went in different neighborhood and enjoyed the fall.  I cleared my head, enjoyed the outdoors with the kids, and it was heavenly.

Saturday I woke up, feeling great. That was when myself and I had a talk. We decided that getting up and moving was more important than dreading a run. But, a walk - sounded DELIGHTFUL. At that point, I gave myself permission to step back, and stop forcing myself to run. I was going to walk. No, not stroll, but brisk walk.  Back in the day before people could afford heart rate monitors, we little exercise physiologists had a saying. Walk at a pace where you can talk, but can't sing. If you can sing without having to take a big breath- you are walking too slow (and typically not in your heart rate zone).  So, as the kids and I walked, I could talk with them - really breathy- but no way could I sing. I actually enjoyed working out.

Now, I walk. I signed up for our local Thanksgiving Day Race - thank to to push from Scot-tay, Jeff, Lori and Katy. I might not be the fastest crossing the starting line, but at least I WILL cross the start and FINISH line.  The tag line for the race this year is I CAN.  And damn it, I can. I can walk a 10K. It will be the first one I walked (I have run a few). I might even be motivated to run a little. So be it. But, I will take it mile by mile, step by step, breath by breath until I cross the line with a smile on my face. I will do it, and myself and I will hopefully have a lot of fun.

Hopefully, this adventure will help me turn my attitude around. I want my children to lead a healthy lifestyle, it's my job to be a good role model for them. Part of that is letting them know being active is fun and that is the parent I want to be. Time to lace up my shoes, get off the couch, go explore and walk.