2 Birds and 1 Stone

I defeated two of my fears this week....

One is this bridge

I hate that bridge. It's high, narrow, has low sides, and I hate it. It scares the heck out of me. Did I mention it's high?  As I mention last post, that last time I crossed this bridge was during the adoption drama of 2008. Back in the days when I would "transfer" my "anxiety" of the adoption to other things, like bridges. (Thanks to my astute friend/counselor Holly, I learned of my anxiety transference issues- she's so smart)  Since that last crossing, I have been fighting a little bridge anxiety for 3 years. I have avoided this bridge for 3 years. Which means, for 3 years I have avoided the great outlet malls on the other side of this bridge. 

In the past year, I have challenged my silly bridge anxiety with crossing bridges like these....

High bridges over water, have been terrifying me. So much that on my way home last night I debated going a very round about way home to avoid my bridge of terror. There is 1 exit right before the bridge, my last ditch. Then I thought about Connor. What would I tell him about fears that can be overcome? Avoid them? Or face them, until they are no longer scary. Damn. Stupid parenting. I'd tell him to face his fear and over come it. So, there at my last chance to avoid the bridge, I just kept going....and a mile later the bridge and my anxiety was gone. This is not to say I wasn't doing deep breathing, focusing on the car ahead of me, and my heart was racing.  I still had a very physical response to that stupid bridge but I crossed it. I can either keep crossing it, or wait until 2016 when it will finally be widened with higher barriers on the side. I still hate the bridge, but I think I might actually go to those outlets for some Christmas shopping.

Number 2- Going Out of Town for Business

Yep, went back into the world of suits and heels. And I rocked it :) And speaking of 2008... my dry cleaning tag was still on my dress clothing, the date, June 8, 2008.  Yeah, it's been awhile. But, I arrived at my job, I was confident, I had my brain, I was professional, etc. I still have it. I can still do it, and I was able to do my job without obsessing if the kids/Jeff/house/dogs/cats/fish were Ok without me. They were/are fine! We all lived. It was a great first trip back into the business world.  I'm not even sure I was missed.

One thing that really helped me was, this great little app on my IPad2 and Jeff's I-Touch called "face time."  Jeff and I were able to chat, which was cool.  He took his I-Touch up to the kids rooms so I could see them asleep, I saw the puppies; it was cool. I think it really helped us both. I still missed them all like crazy, but the trip was a boost to my own little self-esteem. Letting me know I still had it, even though I am a Mom, as well as a "professional." Just because I have a touch of "mommy brain" doesn't mean I still can't solve difficult issues and learn new things. It's not time to professionally put me out to pasture, yet :)

So, go me! I can cross bridges and still act like a professional...