OK, now that you are refreshed, THOSE are the type of family portraits I was hoping to avoid. In order to avoid those uber posed, uber matchy portraits, I booked my awesome friend Lisa Hezlep, owner and awesome photo-lady behind Hezlep Photography. Lisa has been capturing our moments since Calista was 6 months old. She has a seriously great eye for the perfect shot and for perfecting the photo that makes you go "wow!" Anyway, I cannot say enough great things about Miss Lisa. Just to clarify, the events that have taken place before or during the family photo session from hell, were not her fault. It was a total comedy of errors and event that I cannot believe happened in a span of 2.5 hours.
One event I KNEW that could mess up the family picture was, Mr. Howell had a softball tournament the weekend of the pictures. I knew it might run over into Sunday. Weeks leading up to picture day, I was a livid woman. I admit it, I was mad. I was unreasonable, but dang, what poor timing. I used all my stupid girl tricks of being unfair and mean to Jeff. But, once we decided to take pictures later in the evening, softball was a non-issues. Unfortunately, Jeff's team did not have a good showing and it REALLY was a non-issue.
Like any good over planner, I attempted to plan our "wardrobes" and "wardrobe changes" for the family picture. It will be Connor's 3rd birthday pictures, Calista's 2nd birthday pictures and an updated family photo. One family photo in "nice" clothing, the other in Reds gear (suggestion by Mr. Howell). Really long story short and 3 tops for me later, we had our outfits (Yes, it ended up I wore a top I already owned. I have a few returns to make.). As we were all getting ready, the first mis-step was when CC peed in the closet. All I heard was "Uh-Oh" and I immediately realized that naked baby did something of the potty kind. Ugh. At least it was by Jeff's stuff... I ignored that situation, and I continued getting us all ready to go out the door and......a monstrous summer thunderstorm came ripping though. Did I mention our pictures were to be outdoors, at Sawyer Point? (Non-Cincinnatians, Sawyer Point is a very nice park by our river bank. It was also the spot where Jeff first told me he loved me, back in 1993. It's a special place for us. I hear you all doing a collective, "Ahh, so sweet" then making gagging noises. It's OK, I know it's cheesy.)
Back to the story--- A Storm- rain, lightening, thunder, wind...the whole 9 yards. (I later found out that storm even up rooted a tree in our yard- JOY!). I called Lisa, we check the radar and decide to give it a go. Fingers crossed for good weather. I had no idea I needed to cross them for other things, not just the weather....
We loaded up, began down the road. Me, acting like ME, second guessed Jeff's route to the pictures. Jeff, being Jeff, took my suggestion. While going my route, Mr. Howell was stopped and cited with his first speeding ticket! Oh JOY!!! Score: Universe= 4 (peeing baby, tree, storm, ticket), Howell Family = 0
Well, it can't get worse, right?! WRONG. We traveled in silence to our location. As we approach the Sawyer Point parking lot, we notice a boat load of people and a sign in the lot stating we need a parking pass. Oh no. An event. None of us thought to check if there was an event at Sawyer Point. It was the Black Family Reunion (a yearly event here in town, that I had no idea was the same weekend). Crap, we were not invited, we did not have a pass, and anyway, do you really want hundreds (or thousands) of strangers in the background of your family pictures? Better yet, do you want hundreds of people watching to pose for portraits? Nope, ME EITHER. I frantically called Lisa for suggestions. We decided to play on the Kentucky side of the river. Less people, but I dressed us for barefoot in the grass, not concrete and bridges (which is very cool, too!).
Luckily, we had no event at location #2. Phew. We found a cute place, and Lisa started snapping away. Connor was a COMPLETE camera hog and quickly jumped in front of CC for his picture to be taken. He is a funny little man; maybe he could be ready for pageants (Connor on Toddlers and Tiaras, hmmm...). Well, things were all going fine, until.... Connor started throwing rocks. We were near the river, so as long as he aimed that way, things were fine. Until he wacked Jeff in the side of the head with a perfectly thrown rock. Ugh. (Score: Universe=5, Howell Family= a knot in the side of the head).
Things began to spiral quickly after the rock to the head-- which I pointed out was karama to Jeff. Let me share this gem. When Jeff was a little kid, he was upset with his sister. He went to chuck a rock at her head. Jenny, having skills like a cheetah, ducked. Jeff's well placed rock missed Jenny and broke a car window. When his Mom was looking for an explanation on why he threw the rock at the car, little Jeff explain... "I was aiming at her head, not the car. She ducked!" Alas, karma has gotten Jeff. It was a tough day for Mr. Howell.
About this time in the photoshoot, Calista decided to stop smiling. She went into "cave girl" face, or serious CC face, then she started making her famous Nick Notle strung out on drugs look. Ugh!!! Where are my PERFECT FAMILY PICTURES?! For about 2 seconds I realized it's about the people in the pictures and not the clothing. But, when the people are not cooperating, Momma is beginning to look for a drink. By 8:30pm, we were all done.
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| Well, at least her beads look nice... |
I have seen Lisa's work, she will have something PERFECT. But, really, all I wanted a was nice picture of CC, a cute one of my little baseball boy Connor, and a great family picture. HOPEFULLY, we got those. As a bonus, we also got rain, an uprooted tree, pee in the closet, a ticket, a family reunion we were not invited to, and a rock to the head. It was a full night that ended with pizza, beer and an exhausted family.
Lucky for me, Lisa shared this family picture with me. Looks like we just might have one... Be surprised if you see this on our Christmas card.
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| The Happy (yet slightly stressed) Howell Family |
Oh my goodness, Kim! Thank you for a great laugh! Love, love, love the final picture...
ReplyDeleteSmiles to you!
Jen Regan