Hands are Not For Hitting

As I enter this next phase of motherhood, you know the almost 2 and almost 3 year old phase, it occurs to me, parenting is not for the weak. Last year, I remember being so frustrated with things Connor was doing, hitting, kicking, hair pulling, testing his limits.  Ugh, it was tiresome. Eventually, he chilled out and things were back to normal.

Oh how I should have realized that was a pre-cursor of what to come... I've been planning his 3rd birthday party. I swear the first time I utter the words, "Oh Wow, he's going to be 3!" - a little switch turned on in his head. All of a sudden those beautiful hazel eyes turned red and he began listening to that little devil on his shoulder. I'm pretty sure that angel on the other shoulder is currently on vacation; I'm not sure when that angel is coming back!

So, we are at the cusp of the Terrible/Terrific Threes---- as I begin to navigate my way with Connor, something else has changed. I looked over at CC and I swear she was snarling and had steam coming out of her nose like a bull ready to charge. Oh, no... Terrible Twos....She looked sorta like this:

OK, CC was 13mo here, but she still makes this face- the EXACT same way

I thought this day might come, but I was unprepared. I am basically living with two little crazy people that require a padded room and a referee. To try to "read up" on this subject I purchased the following books for the kids:

Hand are Not for Hitting
Feet are Not for Kicking
Calm-Down Time
I Feel Angry When

See the trend? We (I) am trying to get this little people to realize their behaviors are not as we would (I would) like.  However, since they are still essentially bald monkeys, and act that way, I'm half tempted to leave them in the wild to let them settle it.  But, babies in a cage match is pretty well frowned upon, and I fear CC would break down and go all spider monkey on Connor, hurting his ego. Alas, I turn to books.

The books seem nice, so far no affect (it's literally been 1 day), but I was thinking up alternative titles for Children's books I might need to write. Classics like:

Your Juice Cup is NOT for Throwing
"Winkies" are NOT Garden Hoses
Your Sister is NOT you Wrestling Partner
The Ten Minute Tantrum, How to Embarrass your parent in Target
Poop is not Paint
The Dog is Not a step stool
Cat's are Not for Squishing
Secret Meaning of I Do Myself
Crayons are ONLY for Paper- not textured painted walls
Food is for EATING, But Dog Food is only for DOGS
Why Throwing Hotwheels is not a good choice - even if you have great aim
Chinese and your 2 year old- Ni Hao
The Dog's Water is not your Indoor Water Table
The Little Sister's Guide to Dealing With an Older Brother
Why being an Only Child was NOT a bad thing.......

There are many more possible titles, this is simply the tip of the iceberg. 

Even with all these "issues" I wouldn't change a thing, I'm grateful.  At least I still can find the "funny" in the annoying situations. Like when Connor chucks a Hotwheels across the room, and hits his target, I'm angry; yet impressed at the same time.  Or when CC goes for the full out tantrum, I'm impressed how she gently places herself on the floor prior to the tantrum, then I appreciate all the effort she places into having the best, biggest, most obnoxious tantrum ever. She gives it her all.

Here's to hoping with enough patience, yoga, meditation, adult beverages, patience, deep breathing, and PATIENCE, that we all just might survive this phase.

"Dear Lord, Please grant me PATIENCE to deal with all my BLESSINGS!"