I was made an interesting offer in February. Many of you know, I have been part of an online webgroup of Moms. Initially this began when I needed support when we were doing IVF treatments back in 2005ish. But, this particular group of ladies, I first contacted in January 2008 - right after I heard the word "adoption."
I remember my first post, inquiring about adoption, where to start and a mini-version of how we met Connor's birth Mother. The ladies were kind and nice and SUPER helpful. There were Mom's that experienced domestic adoptions (like Connor's), transracial adoptions, international adoptions (Ethiopia, China, Korea, Guatemala, Russia, Romania, to name a few), foster to adopt, single parent adoptions, etc. Any type of adoption out there, someone had experience. These ladies ended up being my support group for the roller coaster months leading to placement with Connor. They had seen successful adoptions and adoptions that fail at the last minute. Really, every scenario - even losing a child- has happened to one of my web ladies. They are a wealth of knowledge and a force of strength when it was difficult to see how our journey would end up. They had fought infertility and won, they were parents. I too wanted to be a parent.
Our little group splinted off from our "web host" about 1 years after I joined. In fact, yours truly even had a post or two deleted. After all we had been though, our "web host" began to censor us. Not cool. So, a couple wise ladies created a new group - our own group- members only. Well, the old web host apparently ticked off a few other groups, so our new community grew full of "outcasts" and "troublemakers" - Even if we were outcasts and troublemakers we all had 1 thing in common - our families did not come to us easily. Our group is full of adoptive moms, moms who conquered infertility via IUI or IVF or gestational surrogate. A few of us even had miracle pregnancies after fighting this infertility monster. We rejoice together, we cry together, we can be pissy together; all as one very supportive community. It is simply amazing how you can get to *know* people and families without ever meeting them. Who knew a community could be created out of a google search.
In our new community, we remained in our sections - Adoptive Mom's, stayed in Adoption World, the MD ladies, stayed with their own, and the Playgroup people stayed with their kind. So we had a strange division in our community- eventually, all the walls fell and everyone became comfortable with one another. We still have our little "cliques" but not like before. We all support another, because in the end we are all just Mom's trying to raise our little ones to the best of our abilities. We really are one great big group, one giant cyber hug away from each other.
This weekend, a group of us are meeting. I have met 3 ladies from this group- but none of those 3 will be attending. I will meet people from all around Northern America (notice I did not just say United States?!). It's amazing. Our journey to Motherhood has led us all together, and now we will be able to meet, in person, further concreting our support for one another. Most of our journeys to motherhood have been bumpy, some of us still encounter bumps - but we know we are in it together. You know you can post a rant, and 10 other people will know exactly how you feel or will give advise on how to overcome a 2 year old that keeps hitting the dogs.
For me to step out from behind my computer, and travel alone to meet these *strangers* is huge. I'm no recluse by any means, but I tend to stay in my ways. You know in my comfort zone. This adventure is just that, an adventure, alone. No Jeff, no kids, it's not for work, it's for me and my soul. I can't ever think of a time I went alone on an adventure for just me in the past 4 years (except my weekly yoga).
The crappy part is, I am sick. A stupid cold is weighing me down. It would be very easy to use it as an excuse to not travel, to say in my warm safe house, with my equally snotty kids. But, I'm going to try. I plan on packing tonight and getting on that plane tomorrow. I will then wait for a friend to fly into Philly, where we will begin our adventure. I figure, I will do my best. These ladies *know* me. They will have to accept me, snot and all. Oh, and there is a massive winter storm near the area where we are going. So much for sundresses and strappy shoes. Break out the parka and snow boots.
So, I hope Cape May, New Jersey is ready for us. I do not see plans for us discussing Mothering in the twenty-first century, or solving the mystery of how to get a 3 year old to dress themselves. However, I see us continuing to share stories, continuing to bond, and continuing to cement our community. Oh I also see us trying to go out dancing and having a few adult beverages.
Step over Snooki- there are some new faces hitting the Jersey Shore this weekend!
**Typos and Grammar are BAD in this post, they are all related to this stupid COLD!**
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