Resolutions?

Really I'm not a fan of resolutions. I'm not.  I mean I can think of a FEW resolutions other people need (heck looks like I need a resolution to stop being judgemental or keep my yap shut).  But, me, nah. Lose weight, be nicer, think happy thoughts, blah. 

Do I need to lose weight?  According to those delightful height/weight charts I do. Per me, myself and I, I feel good about me.  So, pffffitttt to you stupid height and weight charts.  I was never meant to be a small, waify girl. For YEARS, I neglected me.  I cut so much out of my diet to fit into the ideal gymnast body - but I was never supposed to be like 105 lbs and 5'4."  Nope, I was supposed to be 5'4" and strong -not stick thin Olympic gymnast, but a WOMAN College gymnast. 

I remember my freshman year of college getting weighed in once a week.  The one that sticks out in my mind was this special weigh in we had the day we returned from Thanksgiving break.  I had just lost my Grandpa was recovering from the flu.  Obviously I was down weight, I stepped on the scale at 128lbs.  My coach said- GREAT Job on your weight!  Not, "Sorry about your Grandpa" or "Do you feel better" - he was simply happy to see a lower number.  Did practicing at 128 versus my normal 132lbs (at the time) make me a better gymnast? Nope, it just made me more paranoid about me and my body.  Of course that day I also heard "jokes" of the coach asking girls if they enjoyed their "home cooked meals and pie."  And people wonder why some of us ladies have such warped body image issues?

So, for YEARS and YEARS I believed I hated certain foods, I avoided many foods and lived on bagels, water and yogurt.  And for YEARS it took me a LLLOOOONNNGGGG time to like me.  And to realize that I was not going to be 133lbs forever- you know unless I decided to always watch what I eat, worked out 5 days a week/4 hours a day.  Nope, I did that lifestyle,  I have not seen a scale hit the 130's unless I have 1 foot on the floor :)

I like me. I aspire to feel good about me and I feel strong.  Thanks to my yoga I do.  I feel strong and lean and like a confident woman should. I swear yoga has even made me taller :)  I'm not even near the 130's on the scale and I don't care.  But, resolve to lose weight, nope - please pass the fudge and beer- THANKS. The number on the scale no longer defines my mood or determines my self worth.

Nope, no resolutions for me. I simply will do my best to choose a HEALTHY way of life.  Not just body and food wise, but spirit and heart wise.  I have made a choice to be nice to myself and others, to make healthy choices, but accept that it's OK to gorge on cookies a week a year.  Moderation is GOOD for everything.  I choose to be happy, to be more positive. I choose to smile more and be friendly.  Better yet, I choose to be me in all my strengths and faults. And I will learn to forgive myself for my faults/mistakes instead of letting them weigh me down like a cinder block. 

So, there is it, My New Years Resolution is to be me.  To be a better Kim with an open mind and heart, to be nice to others and myself.  To make a choice and know that it's OK.  It's OK to have "no-no" food sometimes.  Sometimes you need to cut yourself a break; it has been hard for me this week with all the tempting holiday treats.  My initial though this morning was to toss all the cookies and candy away. But, then I took a second and said, nope, it's OK.  I gave myself permission to have fudge and pizzelles for lunch.  Heck, I even let Connor have a candy cane for his breakfast.  Will that happen every day or even most days?  Heck no!  But, it was an OK choice, made us both happy and smile a little more.  It's OK to indulge sometimes, it's even better if you indulge and even ENJOY it instead of feeling guilt.

Make a choice, be a better you - I promise your body, mind, soul and heart will benefit from it :)