Three Years ago....

July 17 @ 10:30pm

Three years ago, I was staring at my cell phone. Waiting. Feeling nauseous. and waiting. And praying. And waiting... Waiting for a call from Connor's birthmother to find out what was going on.  I was too nervous to do anything. It did not dawn on me to pack a bag, or a change of clothes, food, nothing. I was one ball of nerves.  I remember laying on my couch clutching my cell phone. I phoned my family, Jeff phoned his family.  And we were waiting. Almost too nervous to even breathe.  I don't think Jeff and I even really spoke. 

Connor's birth mother had phoned us earlier in the evening stating she was in the hospital with contractions but she might be released.  That was at 7:30pm.... Three hours later we were still waiting.  We had the line to an angel on the inside of the hospital, looking for updates for us.  There were none...

Two hours later, at 12:30am, on July 18th we received a call, to come to the hospital....

Thinking of a courageous nineteen year old who was wise enough to realize she wanted better for her son.  I hope we are doing her proud. We are doing our best to raise our son.  I have a feeling she is thinking of him right now, and where she was three years ago, right now.  I hope this moment fills her with more joy than sadness.  I will never understand how she was strong enough to think of her baby before herself.  I will never understand how to ever thank her. Seriously, how can you ever thank someone for making you a Mother? How can you ever thank someone for making you a family? 

D, I can never thank you enough.  On this eve of Connor's birthday, know we are thinking of you, praying for you, loving you, and hoping you see the joy through any tears this day brings you.  Our little man is about to be three. It's time to celebrate. He is one amazing little man; just like the amazing woman who give him life, and gave us a family.