What's Grosser, than Gross?

Cute kids, huh? Yes, Calista was eating her first ever ice cream cone and LOVED IT. Connor, well, his picture is pretty self explanatory where that is going. Please notice his cool fashion trend of 1 shoe on 1 shoe off. He also is wearing a shark t-shirt to honor SHARK WEEK!!!! :)

Saturday, we had a super great photographer come to our home to take 2 yr pics of Connor, 1 yr pics of Calista and a family picture. Well, that was the plan. Connor cooperated for awhile, then we got CC up. She semi-cooperated. Time for family pictures- no dice. Screaming kids. So I am sure we have a delightful picture of screaming kid with smiling parent. Oh well, it was a good idea.... on paper.

INSERT WARNING -- If you are eating - read on an empty stomach -- Gross and Grosser are coming up....and are very GROSS.

Once Lisa (photographer) left, it was about lunch time. Apparently uddering the phase, "What should we have for lunch?" Opens up the flood gates of extreme grossness. Let me digress a bit. Connor is learning his, umm... "body functions." Therefore poo and pee discussions are at an all time high. According to the world of Connor he "poo" a lot. In reality, not really. I'm guessing it's gas, but how to explain a fart versus turd- not real sure and no baby book seems to touch on that subject. So, we just roll with it, when he says it we check him and let him know if it's OK or time for a change (que Brady Bunch "Time to Change" music....:) ) FYI- he finds it hysterical to "sniff" your hieny then wave his hand over his nose exclaiming "STINKY!" Guess I sniff CC's diaper too much. Back to the story at hand....

So, "What should we have for lunch?" the question is posed and Jeff and I are debating it. Connor is running around, like the wild man he is, CC is moving and grooving to her own little drummer, dogs are doing their thing. So, yes, Jeff and I were distracted... Then all hell breaks loose.

Connor walks up to Jeff, "I poo." Connor already had his #2 of the day so we figured he was just working on his really advanced vocab word of "poo." We sorta brushed him off with a "you're OK, no poo." Nope, parents WRONG, 2 year old CORRECT. To prove his point, he apparently went to show us. Next thing Jeff knows, he has a finger o'poo in his face with Connor going, "I POO!!!!" Point taken, yes you did. Jeff is on near gag, as he begins washing Connor's hands, educating Connor that "no we don't touch poo." (Today we discussed it further as I told Connor, "We don't touch poo; poo is Ca-ca." ) While I oversee the hand washing I hear the delightful sound of dog barf. No, not on the hardwood floor, but on the COUCH and carpeting. Nice. Of course, I day prior the cats hair balled on our comforter. I love that our animals like to barf on nice things, which are a pain in the ass to clean. They are too good to hack up a furball or barf on an easily washable surface. Conspiracy I tell you.

Anywho, I forget the fact child #2 is still cruising and grooving over near dog barf world. So, Jeff goes to take care of Connor, I mosey over the get the steam cleaner - oblivious to the fact that CC might find dog barf amusing.

Note to self, 11mo old DOES find dog barf amusing. Like a moth drawn to a light apparently. By the time I get steamer, and other dog barf removal paraphernalia, Ceese decides to play in barf, place her bottle in barf, and yes apparently tasted it. Ewww... very EWWW!!!! Yes, both kids have eaten our dogs food PRE-Digestion. Once they got teeth and the choking hazard was past I figured if they are nutty enough to want to eat it, go for it. It's fortified with vitamins and makes their coast shinier. I used the "ignore and they will leave it alone" parenting technique on that one. And no that technique has not been working.

Back to barf, I was unsure to be highly amused or extremely disgusted. Child went straight into sink for clean off. Once child was clean, I sequestered her AWAY from barf, so I could attend to that. Ew...

Now, I have and won many what's grosser than gross discussions in grade school, however, I have been trumped by a 2 year old and 11 month old with 5 minutes of each other. They win, game over

Gross: Dirty Diaper

Grosser: Child PROVES dirty diaper to father

Gross: Dog barfs

Grosser: 11 mo old uses barf as a play ground

Mind you this all happened AFTER I thought we played that game already on Saturday morning, you know, when Connor decided to try to DRINK SAND.

Glad I dusted off the blog or this little gem of a day would have been lost in my memory. OH yeah, then 2 hours after we played, I busted up my toe. Fun day...

Disclaimer: excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes, remember I kan't spel gud or gramer, but I know CPR and THAT can save your life. A proper comma cannot. :)