Seven years ago, I had no idea it would be the last time I went to the bathroom in peace. No running back to a screaming newborn, or peeing as fast as I could to ensure in the space of 10 second that a toddler did not shove a fork in an electric socket, or no one walking around yelling "MOM WHERE ARE YOU" as they open the closed bathroom door.
Seven years ago, I had no idea that I would be the parent with a child having a full meltdown in Target because I would not let them ride, standing in the basket, like a Pirate manning their ship.
Seven years ago, I had no idea I would actually use the phrase "Because I said so!" And people would sort of listen to me.
Seven years ago, I had no idea I would be asked to respond to questions such as, "What kind of pajamas does God wear?" and "Where is CC's weenie?"
Seven years ago (well on July19th), I sat through my last class to "qualify" as an adoptive parent.
Seven years ago, I had no idea how sacred the bond of open adoption could be.
Seven years ago, I had no idea how important the support of real and cyber friends would become.
Seven years ago, I had no idea how strong the bond between Jeff and I would grow. I am thankful I found a partner that is able to deal with my highs and lows. My normal day Kim versus manic-people-are-coming-over-scrub-the-entire-house Kim.
Seven years ago, I had no idea that planning a porch date with my husband to play cards and listen to Jimmy Buffet on my old Dell c600 would lead to a major life event.
July 17th, 2008 was a typical Thursday. I went to work (in those days probably in my PJs), Jeff went to work. Magnum and Higgins were in the office with me. The room next to me held 3 things, a car seat (in the box), a pack and play (in the box), and a small bag of baby gear that D and I picked out. No mobile, no crib set, no cute things on the wall, no baby registry, only a few people even knew we may be parents at some point in July. The room was empty; it did not scream nursery. We had just gotten it carpeted right before our home study. I remember telling the carpet salesman, the room for son that was due anytime. He looked at me quizzically, and I explained we were hoping to adopt. He got a smile on his face and said, "Well let this be an early gift from me." He handed me a little football. So, I guess there was also a little plastic football in there.
The day was typical; until it wasn't. The day became a special event, marked in my memory forever when my cell phone rang. My stomach dropped and I must have gone pale. Jeff suddenly turned off the concert. The world stopped. D called. She stated she was not feeling well, and was going to get checked, and she would let us know if we needed to do anything. I swear it was around 7:30.
I now understand why they show cartoons of expectant Father's pacing. Our house became silent. We could no longer concentrate on the card game we just dealt. Jeff and I went into "I think this is really happening" mode. Eyes wide open, I think we either paced or sat in silence. I can still feel the tension, excitement, and fear.
Seven years ago, on this day, the world changed for us, for D, and for our families. Really none of us know what the hell adoption was. That abstract word was up to us to figure it out; to define, to make it work for us.
Seven years later, I think we figured it out. It's calls, it's meeting up, it is knowing one another is ALWAYS there. Better yet, it's Connor knowing his story, knowing all his family. Things will still evolve and change, but, seven years later, we seem to be doing this open adoption thing. And, it really seems to be working of us all.
I really wish I would have know that 7 years ago. We probably would have finished that card game.
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