Thursday, June 27, 2013

Confession to CC

Dearest Calista,

When you were having your fit in the car, I was not turning up the radio for Connor to sing to "Boys 'Round Here,"  I was turning it up to drown out your crying/whining.

Yes. I have been known to turn up the radio to drown out your crying.  It keeps me from doing something silly, like yelling back at you to "STOP CRYING."  Because we both know, that does not work.

I have also been known to water down your juice. There, I said it. Unless your apple juice comes from a box, it's 50/50. As if you NEED any more hyper inducing sugar.

Your milk is not organic.  We tried it and you hated it.  If you go into puberty early, it's my fault.  But, I decided calcium was more important for you, then you not drinking milk.

While we are talking milk, yes after 4 weeks old you were on formula. So, whatever study comes out about breast fed, versus bottled fed kids, you and Connor can blame me.  If it turns out formula did not help you develop huge brain cells, or if it turns out that DHA wasn't good, or if that whole BPA free thing was a joke, those are all on me.

I have gone in the bathroom, locked the door for a few moments of quiet Mommy time.

It cracks me up when you call the carousel at the Zoo the Care-o-self.

The other day you were throwing another fit, I WAS laughing at you. Seriously, you called me the worst insult you know. You called your Mommy a "Baby."  It was by far as funny as your massive fit. So, no I was not crying because you hurt my feelings, I was crying due to laughter.

I have bribed you to not use your "vomit at will" evil super power while in public.

I pretty well despise the Fresh Beat Band.  I only downloaded their music for you, because I love you enough to listen to "Just Like A Rockstar" a 100 times in a row.  That also goes for Princess Sofia's, "Perfect Slumber Party" song.  PS- I still remember when the Fresh Beat Band was the "Jump Arounds" -- this made Daddy and I make a very inappropriate joke about the name.  Next thing we knew, the named changed. Apparently we were not the only people thinking their name could be changed to the Jerk Arounds, or Hump Arounds, or.......

FYI, Max and Ruby, cannot stand them.

However, I really enjoy watching "Good Luck Charlie." There, I said it.

Really, when I say, "Start brushing your hair or we will chop it all off" I won't.  I am still scarred by the haircut your Nana gave me in 2nd grade. I looked like a boy and I hated it. Just brush your hair, please.

I still don't understand why you can't handle accepting the word, No. I think it's because you are 3.

I don't like soccer. But, watching you play was fun. 

No, I do not skip pages when I read to you.  Although, I may paraphrase or make up part of story to get it to end quickly.

You do not know the true story of the Three Little Pigs.  Only the pig in the brick house lives, the others are eaten and the brick pig one knocks-off the wolf at the end.

Also, the versions of Little Red Riding Hood, The Little Gingerbread Man, and Old Mother Hubbard have been doctored up to protect you. In all reality, the woodsman kills the wolf to get Grammy out - she is not just mysteriously OK, little Gingy gets eaten in the end for being a jerk, and Mother Hubbard beats her kids to sleep; she does not give them Milk and TV to relax.

I love to sing you "Sea of Love" and I love that you think it is called "C of Love" and that it is about you.  You also do a great job of singing, "Goodnight Sweetheart" and "Good Morning Starshine." 

When you and Connor fight, I have told you to get along or one of you have to find a new family.  Really, you guys are stuck together forever, and in this family forever. So, when you asked if I was serious and I smiled, you knew I was kidding. 


Shine On CC



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