"OK, Mommy, leave the door open a crack. OK?"
"OK, Ceese. No problem. I love you good night. Sweet dreams."
"Just one more hug and kiss, Mommy."
And so it begins....
A few weeks ago, "something" changed. I have no idea what, but that switch that says, "Yes, today, I shall be scared of the dark and shall mess with my parents until I bore of it" was turned on. I am lucky as hell that Connor's switch is broken, he has his issues, but nothing, NOTHING like my little hot mess of a daughter. Turns out, my lovely daughter, takes after her hot mess of a Mother. Let's back track about 30 years or so.
My bedroom was on the bottom floor of a two family house. The house had a backyard that eventually ended in a line of freaky trees. It was not a huge yard, but big enough. While in bed, that backyard transformed into the evil forest that swallowed up Hansel and Gretel, and the Big Bad Wolf stared into my window every night. Or that is what my imagination told me. I was a bit of a nightmare for my Mom when bed time came. Apparently, this has mutated and manifested on some weird gene and transferred to my little angel.
My angel, my awesome sleeper, the kid who slept though anything... Decides sleep was for the weak; the switch turned On. First it was bedtime delay.
"I gotta go potty."
"Read me a book"
"Sing me a song"
"Sing me another song"
"Kiss me"
"Now, a butterfly kiss"
"Now, a nose kiss."
"One more hug"
--- Insert me leaving--- AND....
"I HAFA GO POOP!"
Every.single.night. For weeks this pre and post potty routine. It got to the point, when she had to do the second potty delay tactic, I had to tag in Jeff or I was going to lose my cool. I was ready to start reading her the "Go the F*!k to Bed" book. In fact, I secretly was reciting it in my head as she delayed. I am a bad Mommy.
Then came the waking in the middle of the night, screaming. I would go check on her and ask what happened. For weeks the dream was the same. Over and over the same nightmare. The nightmare, that freaked her out was.................
"Mommy, there were penguins. And they were FLYING. Penguins Can't Fly!"
This, THIS, is the evil dream of my child. A freaking penguin flies and she's ready to escape to Mommy's bed. For weeks, we all slept like crap. Then I went to California for work.
When I returned, the potty delay was GONE. I'm not sure what happened while I was gone, but I was not sad her routine changed. But, then came, "Leave the light on, and crack my door." The door had to be open enough, but not so open the cats could enter in. In her eyes, cats are evil as flying penguins.
Ceese has had a outdoor Christmas Penguin decoration in her room for months. This thing is 36 inches tall. And bright, yet not bright enough. So, we turned on her bedside lamp. Yet, her room was still too scary. Duh, flying penguins freak out EVERYONE.
Now she has a night light, a lamp, a thing that projects on the ceiling (you can't see it due to it's so freaking bright in her room), a flashlight and a pillow pet. It's bright as the SUN in her room at night. Yet, still scary. I indulged her. We moved all her furniture around to remove the scariness. We added another "soothy" I had on her crib. You hit the button, the lion pops up and down, the fish swims; it lights up and plays a cheesy Fisher Price song. With everything illuminated, you can probably see her room from space now.
A few days later, when she came in our room at 5am, I knew the new fung-shui'ed room did nothing. Those damn penguins still flew.
As I have said, for WEEKS we have been trying to help her with this. Then came this morning.
7:30am, she comes in all bright eyed, bushy tailed. Smiling. She gives me a big hug.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, CC."
"I had a great dream last night!"
"Really?" What was it?"
"I had a dream about VAMPIRES! It was Great! I was one of them!"
Dumbfounded, my words were lost. Vampire dreams are cool, penguins that fly are freaky. Tis the logic of a crazied 3.5 year old. I hope she continues to dream of vampires, then we can all get great sleep.
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