Dear Mom....

While choosing meat at the grocery store, I heard this exchange:

Mother on her last nerve: "Please stop doing X."
Small child in cart stomping on above mentioned last never: "Why? I like to do X."
Mom (exasperated): "Please just sit in the cart."
Child begins raising VOICE: "I. DON'T.WANNA.SIT.IN.THE.CART!"
Mom (more firmly, but still has her cool): "Just sit in the CART!"
Child: "BUT, WHY?"
(secretly as an observer, I was waiting for this, the child was maybe 3 or 4)
Mom (about to lose her cool, right next to the sausage links): "BECAUSE I SAID SO! NOW SIT."
Child then sits, as she knew sitting was in her best interest.

Me thinking, "I am so glad I am here getting my alone time at the grocery store."  Then I offered up the Mom an understanding smile...

It was that exchange that had me drafting this letter in my head....

Dear Mom,
Hi, it's me, your favorite child [being an only child, I am always the most beloved and cherished].   I just wanted to take a moment to say I am sorry.

I am sorry for being a non-listening child at all the wrong times.  Like in the grocery store when you just wanted to get that one thing.  For throwing fits when you would say no.  I know, you are right, those Guess jeans were really expensive.  I just wish I realized your way of compromising was getting me a nice cool Swatch watch instead. 

I am sorry I ruined my dress at the Pete Rose restaurant in the late 70's.  At least I can blame that one on I was not potty trained yet, and cloth diapers in the 70's were not really made for more than washing a car. 

I am sorry for being a brat in front of other people.  When I knew you were too good a Mom to actually lose it in front of another parent.  Your simple response of, "That is enough" was enough for me.

Sorry for all those times I ever put you on the spot.

Sorry about eating those 2 pennies and 1 nickel when I was 6, that was a bad idea.  You were right, we shouldn't put money in our mouth. And I really hope those are out of my system by now.

From the age of 14 until around 19, sorry for all that snottiness/ugliness/brattiness/smart mouth/etc. You are right, I'll be getting my pay back in the form of a beautiful little, strong willed, girl named CC.  But, sorry for all those extra gray hairs I caused.  You were calm and cool during the teenage years.  Giving me enough freedom and guidance to keep me safe. Raising me to know a good choice, from a bad choice.

Thanks for talking me out of those tattoos I swore I wanted when I was in college. And, since I was an "adult" I could do whatever to my body.  Because of your, "wait and see" approach to body art, I have dodged a tree frog (to be a tramp stamp) tattoo, and a Joe Boxer Smile on my left hip (who knew Joe Boxer would stop being cool one day?).  Thanks for being that voice of reason, that voice is still in my head and, I listen to it!

Thanks for instilling in me that I did not need to pierce every pierceable spot on me.  You were right.

Thanks for teaching me the response, "Because I said so."  Hopefully, one day it will work on Connor and CC as well as it worked on me.

Thanks for letting me learn some hard lessons on my own, but being there to help me wade my way though fixing the small messes I created. 

I am so glad, that at the age of 20, I realized, Yes, YOU ARE RIGHT.  You have been right about so many things.  I just can't believe it took me 20 years to see that! At least for the past 15 years, I have conceded that you really do know what you are talking about. Now, if I can only convince CC and Connor that I know what I'm talking about... ugh. 

Really, thanks for everything. For all your patience, and kindness, and unending love.  I know I can still be a pain, but at least I have stopped the public embarrassment of pooping my pants in public.  :)

Lots of Love-
Me