The House that Jack Built- Part 1

You know, I have no idea who this "Jack" is or why he built so many homes that have completely stupid issues.  But, darn you Jack.  I raise my closed fist in the air and shake it- cursing you Jack the Builder. "Curse You Jack!!!"

Now, let's back up a hair to a conversation between Jeff and I.  It went like this:

Jeff: "Wow, Kim those stairs turned out a lot better than I expected."
Kim: "Yeah, I know."
Jeff: "We really should ponder updating our delightful 1982 house."
Kim: "Yes we shall ponder this, first let me get us both another adult beverage."

I got us a beer and the crazy talk starts. We discussed how we were doing a stay-cation at home, and how these simple projects should be knocked out by Sunday.  Providing we start them on Saturday, it should be cake, right?  Our project list was as follows:

1. Paint Family Room
2. Update ugly timber of a mantle in Family Room (yes, some people LOVE rustic wood -- this wood is not the kind you love, it's the kind you want to chuck in a bonfire)
3. Update 1980's Bookcases flanking fireplace in family room (new trim and paint backs of bookcase)
4. New carpet in hallway and master bed room (to be installed by professionals, the carpet saga is a post all it's own)
5. Tear out and replace vanity/sink in master bath "dressing" area (our master is designed as a Hotel Style Master bedroom/bath -- very popular in the early 1980's)

Then we had a last minute add-on due to a sale price we could not pass-up...

6. Remove laundry chute box that empties laundry into the pantry, and replace flooring with $10 per box Mohawk laminate flooring. (it was a special order item that someone returned to the store, so instead of $56.00 per box, we got them for $10.00 per box- a STEAL).

OK, looking at our list.  Painting, should be easy.  New trim, should be easy, heck removing the old trim should be cake.  Removing and old vanity/sink, putting in a new one (after the carpet is installed).  Everything on our list is something we have either done, or had done something similar.  Nothing was really out of our scope of DIY. 

The one thing we forgot was... THIS was the house that Jack built.  This is the house that does NOT want to give up it's 1980's grandeur.  This was a problem.  I blame this on Jack; a neighbor suggested it may be the previous owner thwarting our updating progress. He has recently passed, and he could be having some heavenly fun causing us some issues.  But, his taste and our taste are polar opposites.  I mean for goodness sake, at closing he exclaimed how much he loved THIS wallpaper:

Entry Hallway 2007

Let me tell you how much fun I had with my steamer and my Mom ripping out every inch of that wallpaper, and every other scrap of wallpaper, and boarder in this house.  We were officially declared wallpaper/boarder free in February of 2008.

BACK to the Project at hand, Project Family Room.

Our family room is a giant rectangle. The back wall is the brick fireplace, flanked with the bookcases.  Easy-peasy.  Here are a few is before pictures, some from 2007, some a but more recent...

This beautiful 1/2 wall with spindles lasted 30minutes before we pulled the spindles the day we closed.

 

Party 2011

 

 

My beautiful Fireplace at Christmas, 2011. 
All we did when we moved in was to paint the walls green...



So, let's find a close up of the ugly beam...

 

Really this, mantle/beam was more of a rail road tie. It was uneven, splintery, unable to dust.  Like Paul Bunyan cut down a timber and Babe slapped it up on my fireplace.  I hated that "rustic" ugly beam.

 

Knowing we would not paint brick (it's a SIN, right up there with coveting your neighbor's wife), we were left with, let's do something to update this area. After looking, and pricing "ready made" mantels, our best bet was to create our own. We found some trim, and a nice piece of wood.  Jeff decided, let's use the ugly timber as our base and pretty it up.  I was all on board (ha, ha-- board!).

 

To tie in the ugly bookcase, I wanted to update the trim on the top.  I wanted to get rid of this:

Yes, I chipped off a piece of the wood after 15 minutes of wacking.

The goal was to SIMPLY remove the ugly trim, and I was all for making a straight cut and simply re-staining the cut end.  Therefore, it would be a rectangle, not a scrolly, country looking thing.  The bookcase had other ideas... I wacked on it, Jeff wacked on it. We removed screws, nails, etc. And that stupid thing DID NOT MOVE.  It's like steel covered in wood. Let's Plan B it....

Let's cut it out! Cutting it out, smoked the blade of the sawz-all.

Frick, that stupid book case trim WOULD NOT BUDGE.  Wacking, sawing, cussing at it, NOTHING. Stupid bookcase.  But, at least the paint and primer stuck to the back of the bookcase.  So, at least there was that.

 

After a lot of thinking, and a few trips to Lowe's/ Home Depot (Jimmy's House and Joey's House), we came up with this.....Plan C, let's match it to our mantel.  And we did, and here is a bit of a preview, while getting a close look at the mantel.

 

 

Golden Pecan... I know some people HATE light wood.
But, we wanted LIGHT; there is enough Dark Walnut in this house for 10 houses.

 

Let's look closer at the wood trim.... Ohhhh-Ahhhhh.....

 

 

 Finally, let's look at the finished product, and voyeur around my living room a bit...

A little side by side, old versus new...

Pretty!  And please say Hi to our Mags....

The complete living room, toys and all.  Color used was "Lemon Balm" by Behr. 
Yes, I know, it looks crazy similar to the paint I painted over in 2007.

Cincinnati Zoo art I found for $20

The "gallery" wall



 

We accomplished our first 3 items on our check list.  Painted family room, new mantel, and  updated bookcase.  The dollars and cents?  Not bad.  The wood trim was more than I anticipated, but a pre-made mantel was 5ft long and $99.99.  Our Mantel is 6ft long and come in at $80.  Then add in the bookcases, we came in at about $100 for the complete project.  Paint was about $66, my art was $20.  So, all in all, a new look, updated for under $200.  Not bad!

 

Oh, and how long did this take? I started painting Saturday night at 9pm... Then, we did this complete project during naps and at bedtime, and we added in a Zoo trip and a dentist adventure on Monday.  Tuesday evening everything was 100% complete.   Another DIY, Jeff and Kim project complete.

 

Stay tuned for Part 2 of the House that Jack Built, the vanity from hell...

 

 

Dear Mom....

While choosing meat at the grocery store, I heard this exchange:

Mother on her last nerve: "Please stop doing X."
Small child in cart stomping on above mentioned last never: "Why? I like to do X."
Mom (exasperated): "Please just sit in the cart."
Child begins raising VOICE: "I. DON'T.WANNA.SIT.IN.THE.CART!"
Mom (more firmly, but still has her cool): "Just sit in the CART!"
Child: "BUT, WHY?"
(secretly as an observer, I was waiting for this, the child was maybe 3 or 4)
Mom (about to lose her cool, right next to the sausage links): "BECAUSE I SAID SO! NOW SIT."
Child then sits, as she knew sitting was in her best interest.

Me thinking, "I am so glad I am here getting my alone time at the grocery store."  Then I offered up the Mom an understanding smile...

It was that exchange that had me drafting this letter in my head....

Dear Mom,
Hi, it's me, your favorite child [being an only child, I am always the most beloved and cherished].   I just wanted to take a moment to say I am sorry.

I am sorry for being a non-listening child at all the wrong times.  Like in the grocery store when you just wanted to get that one thing.  For throwing fits when you would say no.  I know, you are right, those Guess jeans were really expensive.  I just wish I realized your way of compromising was getting me a nice cool Swatch watch instead. 

I am sorry I ruined my dress at the Pete Rose restaurant in the late 70's.  At least I can blame that one on I was not potty trained yet, and cloth diapers in the 70's were not really made for more than washing a car. 

I am sorry for being a brat in front of other people.  When I knew you were too good a Mom to actually lose it in front of another parent.  Your simple response of, "That is enough" was enough for me.

Sorry for all those times I ever put you on the spot.

Sorry about eating those 2 pennies and 1 nickel when I was 6, that was a bad idea.  You were right, we shouldn't put money in our mouth. And I really hope those are out of my system by now.

From the age of 14 until around 19, sorry for all that snottiness/ugliness/brattiness/smart mouth/etc. You are right, I'll be getting my pay back in the form of a beautiful little, strong willed, girl named CC.  But, sorry for all those extra gray hairs I caused.  You were calm and cool during the teenage years.  Giving me enough freedom and guidance to keep me safe. Raising me to know a good choice, from a bad choice.

Thanks for talking me out of those tattoos I swore I wanted when I was in college. And, since I was an "adult" I could do whatever to my body.  Because of your, "wait and see" approach to body art, I have dodged a tree frog (to be a tramp stamp) tattoo, and a Joe Boxer Smile on my left hip (who knew Joe Boxer would stop being cool one day?).  Thanks for being that voice of reason, that voice is still in my head and, I listen to it!

Thanks for instilling in me that I did not need to pierce every pierceable spot on me.  You were right.

Thanks for teaching me the response, "Because I said so."  Hopefully, one day it will work on Connor and CC as well as it worked on me.

Thanks for letting me learn some hard lessons on my own, but being there to help me wade my way though fixing the small messes I created. 

I am so glad, that at the age of 20, I realized, Yes, YOU ARE RIGHT.  You have been right about so many things.  I just can't believe it took me 20 years to see that! At least for the past 15 years, I have conceded that you really do know what you are talking about. Now, if I can only convince CC and Connor that I know what I'm talking about... ugh. 

Really, thanks for everything. For all your patience, and kindness, and unending love.  I know I can still be a pain, but at least I have stopped the public embarrassment of pooping my pants in public.  :)

Lots of Love-
Me