"That there dog's a BABY EATER!"

A few of you know I used to work out of the house for a living. In fact, I used the same equipment I now do technical support for. So, yea, I too was once and idiot who called in with mundane and stupid questions. But, what I did with my equipment (when not calling technical support) was "breathing and exercise tests" for folks in a couple doctors offices. A vast majority of my patients were in Kentucky, a vast majority of that demographic were from the HILLS of Kentucky.

If ya'll have spent any time in Kentucky, ya know you have some city folk. You know, the people living in major metropolis cities like Lexington, Louisville, and maybe "Southern Cincinnati." Those folks are like you and me. We were shoes, shower regularly, brush our teeth, and realize a doily does not need to be under every item in our home. Not that there is anything wrong with doilies, but they are a little dated. But, there are also those folks from the Hills. Those folks love their doilies, their Bible, their Aquanet and those big poofy curtains. Beyond that they also LOVE to tell us their VERY colorful stories some would make a "lady of the night" blush (oh, lady of the night = hooker in case you did not know), others make you scratch your head and think "No way."

Here is one of my FAVORITE stories from my Kentucky patients. I would tell you I am not using names so I can protect the innocent, but really it's because I cannot remember the name :)

Let's start with Jethro. Jethro is the man who told me, "That there dog's a baby eater." How the story goes is, I always talk. In my job back then, it was me and the patient. It was my job to make them feel comfortable and to get a good test effort for them (ain't nobody cheating in my lab for them to get sum dis-bility). So, I started with general small talk. He had dogs, I had a dog. So I asked, what kind of dog he had. He had a mutt, and I told him I had a Doberman. His face went pale, " A Doberman? That there dog's a baby eater. Ya'll got any babies? Cuz if you does you best gets rid of that dog. He'll eat it. Can't trust them Dovermans." I filed that story away so I could tell Jeff later on. Our "Doverman" is a "baby eater." God help us.

If I still knew Jethro, I'd show him that picture above. My Doverman with my young-in. CLEARLY Mag is considering eating her. Clearly, I was so distraught that had to run to the next room (leaving the baby eater with the baby) to get my camera and document this moment. Yep, Jethro you're right, that Magnum is a DANGER. yeah, right. That dog is better behaved than my 2 legged son. The 2 legger is the one I fear leaving the baby with. And I know he ain't no baby eater either.